Are you serious?

Enlightenment for the newbies

It concerns me to see girls moving towards altering their physical appearance in a way that pacify a desire or maybe a fantasy, and sometimes without sufficient research into procedures, impact and effects. I see this often on so many sites, including this one. I am not referring to those who are not ready to reveal themselves yet, but those I feel who appear to be uninformed, lacking in-depth knowledge of the path they are taking. Surgery that permanently alters our body is highly likely to impact us on psychological and physical levels, in addition to effects in our external world. It is a step that needs serious consideration and research into the subject before the first snip takes place. While at the beginning of our journey and seeking hormonal treatment, we are unlikely to be prepared sufficiently to make such life-changing and surgical decisions with absolute certainty.

We need to know and understand fully, the implications, effects and outcomes that lie ahead with such choices. Regret is not something we would invite or wish to after any surgical procedure. We owe it to ourselves to be as honest with ourselves and as aware as possible of all aspects. There is no excuse for not learning exactly what is involved in this age of the internet, computers and smartphones, it’s all out there. Not forgetting the professionals that we will be interacting with on the journey, who are there to help and guide us through this experience in a medical and scientific way, supporting the decisions that we are considering and may accept to take. In fact, nobody involved with such surgical procedures would wish to be a part of this, if we felt that a wrong choice had been made afterwards, least of all ourselves.

En Femme Style

It feels as if Transition has been presented as a Fad in recent times, and there are always plenty who want to be and do the current cool thing, a fantasy/dream-like state of mind that can become a hard reality. It can smack us down every morning when we look in the mirror, like it has for me, so many many times!

As a transsexual, and entering my sixth month of post-op care, I wish to share my understanding with you, we must accept and be ourselves to walk this path. I walk this earth as I did as a male, only now, I’m better looking – period. My advice is to, be comfortable in your own skin – you are a spirit within a body, not a body with a spirit. I believe that I speak not just myself, I include others who with their constructive advice to encourage readers with sincerity in helping others through their journey. We offer our help with good intent, to direct and suggest, not counsel or prescribe.

There are many possibles of impacts and effects by following a path of surgery that can and will change how we feel and look. That can be perceived as the internal conflict that needs to be resolved in this way. It is possible that we may not have considered some of the extremes we may face as a result of this decision, and better that we should before going further. There are clearly wonderful and fulfilling aspects to a perceived outcome through surgery but are centred around ourselves. Our choice can very likely affect our families and friends that remain unpredictable to all until that later stage. However, we need to be aware of any bad or negative possibilities to avoid unnecessary disasters.

It is possible to get through it all with relatively little or no negative outcomes or reactions from others, but, there are plenty of stories of those whose lives are not so blessed. We can sacrifice a great deal when walking this road, losing a partner, wife, children, family and friends, perhaps even your job, or being alienated by others you may not know yet. Anything is possible as a result of coming out whether pre or post-op, but nobody knows for sure. We can only have our faith and belief in ourselves and that life can and will be good to create that future.

Our journey can be compared to a car ride headed west down route 66, every town a part of it, how long you stay at each one is down to you. How many are there? We don’t know and drive till it feels right, meaning I don’t care. But, I can assure you there are some bumpy roads ahead. If we’re willing to put our lives on the line, then we owe it to ourselves to be doing all we can to prepare for that ride. You may need to consider electrolysis for example, where needed to feel and look more feminine at an early stage, it can be a long process. Go forward with a detailed plan, there can be further changes to handle on many levels.

There may be many points on our journey that can feel daunting and impassable due to red tape, doctors, and don’t get me started on insurance companies. It takes a LOT of work, determination and strength to become anatomically correct as a female. Disappointments, postponements, being older, and perhaps medically challenged. Just be aware of what you are taking on and that your body and mind can handle it all. There can always be help available and if we are prepared and equipped with knowledge before the event

Gobbling down estradiol and looking in the mirror every morning isn’t going to get it done any quicker. Be sensible about your life and health, respect that by being controlled in what you do. Stick to what is good, avoiding wrong directions and misguided actions that can damage your health, physically and psychologically. You will be changing your body chemistry before anything else and that can be unsettling in its effects or elating, we can never know before. Stay focused on the end game. It is very important to stick to a detailed plan working with your doctor and to established and known standards

We need to get ready and comfortable with ourselves before we set off on the long drive on route 66. So strap in, buckle up, take hold of the wheel and keep your eyes on the road at all times, enjoy the ride/journey. It’ll save you bundles in hair coloring products I assure you

What you can look forward to after surgery is a year of healing and dilation. Almost ready to go out and paint the town red as a real female right? Nope, maybe not or even close. Our ability to bond with our new self may take hold shortly after and a whole new taken on life begins as you develop and heal. It is common to decide to be A sexual afterwards, as well suffer post-op depression and loneliness. Hopefully not of that, as nothing is a foregone conclusion, some don’t even experience that. If you’re doing it with no family/spousal support like I am it can be tough for sure. I will say this girls, the depression can be real but the end result is so worth it to push through it, and is the reason I am staying behind the wheel of my journey. The post-op change can/will overwhelm you if you allow it to, so stay in touch either with us here or someone close to you to allow you to vent, ask and answer

This site is maybe our only way to vent and cry, laugh and learn, teach and listen. Our job as women who are further on in our development is to guide you, but for most – it all boils down to your simple choices. Will it be an educated and informed choice or are you simply going by what all the other girls are doing/saying? Remember this well. You are different from any other who may partake in this journey. Yours will be different, maybe quicker, maybe not. You being good to the body and mind that you reside in is key ladies! But the key lies within your spirit, to stick with it and take a lot on the chin to win over all the odds.  Otherwise, you could lose and live with your computer-generated pictures and regret!  Your call! I will always help as others have done for me. After all, this is why we’re here!


More Articles by Ms. Tia Tracy

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Ms. Tia Tracy

Hey girls ! My name is Tia. I was born Intersex but I am now a post-op transsexual female as I was operated 6/Feb/21. 4 years of HRT and 5 years here at TGH. I am now here to help as many assisted me through my journey. I am the Assistant manager, and the Veteran's Ambassador here to assist any Vets to work the system for benefits.. Drop me a line or catch me in chat as I am always here to help as well as make new friends Huggz Tia

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Jack Randall
Jack Randall(@daddyjack)
1 year ago

I have always liked my parter as she is but support her desires to change.

Charles Jamison
Charles Jamison(@irocz666)
1 year ago

How true, I am 74 years young, been a total women all my life! It was hard to except, but now I am ok with the new life!

June (Rei) Durden
June (Rei) Durden(@reidurden)
1 year ago

Great article. I sure hope it finds a few people early in their journey giving them pause enough to check in with themselves and seek resources outside of social media.

Marianne Tornander
Marianne Tornander(@marianne65)
1 year ago

Thank you Tia for an excellent article. You pinpoint some very important concerns that should be addressed by everyone being in transition or thinking of it. But with them being deemed unpleasant, contraproductive or just boring, I can easily see how they are swept over and forgotten in the shadows of the great expectations of everlasting joy and happiness that we all wish to experience. Having identified as at least partly a girl since the age of five or six in the start of the 1970’s, when nothing about gender issues, sexuality or LGBTQ questions were known to me, I… Read more »

Kylie Elric
Kylie Elric(@firakagegetsu)
1 year ago

Thank you Tia very much I agree I’ve seen too many people go down the road just because it’s the “in” thing and that sucks I spent 15 years in prison the last eight of which I was given the I guess you could say diagnosis of being gender dysphoric only the last five of which as of May 18th of 2021 was I on hormone replacement therapy I was one of the lucky ones to seriously consider look at all the information I could get and make a somewhat informed decision on what I wanted to do on the… Read more »

Kylie Elric
Kylie Elric(@firakagegetsu)
1 year ago
Reply to  Tia Tracy

Thanks for the info I did not know that and I will be sure to write if I end up with a discomfort the only reason I considered removing the prostate is I actually know a couple girls personally that they opted not to and guess what killed them prostate cancer so it was kind of a I don’t want that to happen to me kind of thought but if it is better to leave it alone then hey why not thanks again love you

Reiht Aug
Reiht Aug(@reiht)
1 year ago

Great article Tia. Very informative and helpful. I have yet to start my hormonal treatment as I am waiting for my doctors approval (shrink). Whether I get surgery is still up in the air.
Thank You

Rachel Casey
Rachel Casey(@rachelcasey)
1 year ago

Tia an absolutely stunning and very informative article thank you for sharing

Carly Holloway
Carly Holloway(@carlyellen)
1 year ago

So a great article, Tia, and well said. Whie we all may know of the downs, we usually don’t address them here, so thank you so much for opening the gate. Personally, my transition has been remarkable smoothe, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have my moments ( hours? days? Weeks?) Being able to rebuild old, but new relationships is a difficult task. Finding those new friends is very difficult, compounded by COVID fears and isolation. Sometimes I just need a shoulder to cry on, and all too often, it isn`t there. And family and friends don’t always “get it”.… Read more »

Joanna Keller
Joanna Keller(@joannalovely)
1 year ago

Tia, A wonderful and very informative article. Thank you for taking the time to write it for all of us. Pink Hugs

Active Member
1 year ago
Reply to  Tia Tracy

Dear Tia, Thank you sweetheart for your acknowledgement and kind words for my assistance and for working with you to create this powerful piece. I must make it very clear that you Tia were the instigator of this article and without your submission, this would have remained unspoken and in the shadows. You, my dear deserve to take all the credit for this piece, it would not exist without you. I did work on it to enhance and strengthen your concerns. Together we produced a very worthwhile text that will help others, and as you desired from the outset. Congratulations!… Read more »

Miss Cloé
Active Member
Miss Cloé(@cloe-anne-webb)
1 year ago

Thank you Tia! I tend to gobble my research like so many estrogen pills (even if I do injections). My goal being to be fully prepared with no surprises. With FFS I wasn’t ready for the post operative depression. I hadn’t heard anyone talk about it. I was/am ecstatic with my results, yet there it was anyway. If anything I think it is informative of what I can expect in myself after bottom surgery. But this is my point, the research usually doesn’t come close to dealing with the impact to our emotional and mental state. This is why we… Read more »

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