Billy was my first best friend. We met in kindergarten. Billy was also the first boy I’d ever seen try on women’s clothes. The kindergarten room had a bin full of adult clothes for dress-up. One day, Billy decided to pull on this black and green sequined dress with ma...
Archive for category: Am I Transsexual?
At what point does someone say, “I’m ready” or “I never will be.” More importantly, does there even need to be a declaration? I have been graciously blessed to be part of this community, first as a member on CDH and then on this site, and now as both sites’ Managing E...
I am sitting here, having a nice glass of wine, contemplating my future. I am a torn individual. OK with my male life, yet wanting more. I just feel more alive when I am April, yet I am so self conscious of my appearance. I know I do not pass and while I am OK going out part time...
Puberty brought with it a whole lot of different emotions and experiences. As for most people, my puberty years were confusing. Everything got exaggerated; feelings, depression, anxiety, and loneliness to mention a few. I spent most of the time by myself. I also spent extra time ...
These are complicated questions for me, and they have complicated answers. When I first realized I needed to transition, I could have pinpointed specific days or times to answer either of those questions. However, my perspective on my past has changed quite a bit in the past few ...
Once I got on antidepressants, I started to get a better grasp of everything. I felt as if I could finally let the weight fall from my shoulders; unburden those immense feelings that were smothering me and lay them down. I felt like I could calmly work through one by one all the ...
To continue, 2018 began with me being in a state of limbo, so to speak. I was caught between dueling personalities. One existed solely because of the fear that my world would fall apart if anyone found out about the other. And that other one was giving me increasing amounts of...
The year of the Phoenix, 2018; it was the absolute worst year of my life, and yet, the most wondrous year of my life. The year rang in amongst a chaos of emotions throughout my life at that time. My egg cracked years before, and I was still trying to decipher the fallout while...
Trans·gen·der /transˈjendər,tranzˈjendər/ denoting or relating to a person whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex. Seems like that definition encompasses a whole lot of real estate, yet is somehow still lacking. Does my personal...
Thinking back over my life, I remember a strange attraction to girly things as early as age four. I would go to family gatherings, wishing my hair was long so I could wear pretty hair ribbons and barrettes. I wanted to wear a pretty dress and cute shoes. My mom made her own cloth...
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