After my years of denial, I realized the truth. It came after being dressed (very convincingly, I might add) by girls I worked with for a party. I loved being female. The next phase was how to deal with it. By now, my circumstances led me to rent a place of my own where I could b...
Archive for category: Emotional Transition
After 62 years I have come to my senses and stopped denying my transness. I have been on HRT for the past 5 years and I have done much of the follow up to transition. I have to make it work for myself and my SO, but I am ready in my mind to do that. I have a small group of fr...
Something I think a lot of trans people, especially us older folks deal with is in coming to terms with our past identities. It can be a road block during transition, especially if you are not moving away, changing jobs, or your career. For me, I occupy the exact same space I did...
It’s been too long since I last wrote to you. All of you wonderful ladies have showered me with love and compassion. Thank you so much for that. However, it seems that I only come to you when my heart is broken or when I don’t know how to cope with my secrets. Eightee...
A few months ago, I went to court to testify as part of my job. When I came out full-time, the legal counsel for where I work sent out a memo to all Prosecuting offices in our area, informing them of the name change and everything. I had no trouble testifying. Sometimes, it can b...
Finding Your Way

I am sitting here, having a nice glass of wine, contemplating my future. I am a torn individual. OK with my male life, yet wanting more. I just feel more alive when I am April, yet I am so self conscious of my appearance. I know I do not pass and while I am OK going out part time...
How did I know I was trans? When did I realize I was trans? Part Two

Puberty brought with it a whole lot of different emotions and experiences. As for most people, my puberty years were confusing. Everything got exaggerated; feelings, depression, anxiety, and loneliness to mention a few. I spent most of the time by myself. I also spent extra time ...
I came from a miserable life to a much happier life. I remember at the age of 8 feeling something wasn’t right with me, and I didn’t know what it was. In my teen years, I finally realized I was born as the wrong gender. I couldn’t come as I felt I wasn’t r...
How did I know I was trans? When did I realize I was trans? Part One

These are complicated questions for me, and they have complicated answers. When I first realized I needed to transition, I could have pinpointed specific days or times to answer either of those questions. However, my perspective on my past has changed quite a bit in the past few ...
After my ramblings about my early years, I am continuing on my next stage…Puberty. As a teenager, I’d outgrown any clothes that I had access to, and I still lived at home. I was a young male with testosterone coursing throughout his body. My friends and activities were ve...
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