So I haven't transitioned yet, but I keep thinking how will I ever be passable? I'm 6'1" and have average to semi broad shoulders. I also have big feet and don't think they look feminine. My feet combined with my height means I can't ever wear open toe shoes or heels. This kind of sucks because I want to be able to look just like any other girl out there. Is there any advice anyone can give me?
Vanessa, my advice would be to not worry about being passable. Transitioning should be about whether or not it makes you happy and a better you.
As for shoes, if you wear a men's 11½= woman's 13, there are places that sell them.
I also hear a lot of woman aren't happy with there feet. So don't feel like you don't relate.
Maybe some others can chime with more advice.
Hi, Vanessa. I'm also a very tall girl,, 6'2", and I am making the transition. I, too, was scared to death to begin with height and physique not entirely in the female mold (that's a delicate way to put it.) To top it off, I'm in my late 60's.
I decided to go for it anyway. Not an easy choice for any of us. I studied the way women in my area dress regularly, and worked hard to mimic their styles. I noticed that, outside of random her formal work situations (business, execs, official/govt/court situations, etc), not many ladies wear heels and dresses....maybe for a fancy night out, but usually not even then.
So, when I'm on the go, I'm very much one of the crowd, aside from height and size. My observations? Nobody really cares anymore. Sure, I may get a few goofy stares, but I have had zero negative encounters in many months. I'm mostly treated like everybody else. Shopping, restaurants, work, outings (of course limited by our friendly neighborhood covid), no problem. Usually ma'am or miss. A few bums say sir, but that is not the rule. And bear in mind I live in the heart of redneck fundamentalist Oklahoma in a small, small community.
Finding the moxie to finally go ahead with my transition was the hard part. Making the transition has been a delight, and I wish I could have found the courage years ago.
So, I say, go ahead. Experiment. Observe. Try some jeans, tees or tunics, and tennies or flops. Start small and easy. You won't see many 3 inch heels and fancy dress at 2 in the afternoon, or at 8 pm. Just be comfortable. Be confident. Be proud. Be yourself. They don't dictate your life. You don't need their approval or advice. Head up, shoulders back. You're beautiful just as you are in your own way. Own it. Enjoy it. Express it. Above all, be relaxed and have fun. Life is too short to hide behind fear of "them" and what they think.
I hope this helps. You are not alone, hon.
I am small and can find shoes of all kinds, including heels that put me “up” in the world. But, almost every real woman that I encounter ask, “how can you walk in those things?” FYI, women today don’t wear heels. They go for comfort. So, you too should wear comfortable shoes. At 6’ 1”, you don’t need any more height.
Even with 4 inch heels, I’m only 5’6”. You are already tall and beautiful. Accept it, please.
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There are lots of tall women in the world. While you can slim down or bulk up, you are pretty much stuck with your height. However, there are some things that you can do...
- wear different colors top and bottom
- Wear a top with a horizontal pattern
- Wear a top with a strong pattern
- Do not slouch
Anyway, the theory is that by drawing attention to your upper body, it takes attention away from your long legs.
Not sure about tactics to de-emphasize the shoulders...
Some years back Des’Ree did a song called “I Ain’t Movin’”. One line that has always stayed with me is:
Time is much too short to be living somebody elses life...
The first out trans girl I met 3 years ago was beautiful. And she was 6ft 4" and had been a full back on the Saints foot team. So don't think that you cannot do this. Yes, maybe harder to find clothes but not impossible. I have done a lot of my shopping on the web site Woman Within.
I wouldn't worry about height so much, there are a lot of tall women. I'm 6'2", shave my head, and don't wear a wig. I honestly believe that once you stop worrying about passing, it becomes so much easier to just be yourself. I wear shorter kitten heels with dresses occasionally in summer. I don't get any different reaction than I would with a wig and flats.
