How/when to "come out"

go to the doctor tell them u want to start HRT. And then do it and a week later tell everyone...its no big deal.iy was completely uneventful for me and I did it a 62

Assume you need to go to an endocrinologist or would a general practice be able to prescribe.

I also want to do it without hurting my wife.  I am just coming to grips myself on the fact I have lied to myself for years.

Thanks,

Steph

Hi Stephanie,

I think working with a therapist with trans experience is a good start.  I just recently told my therapist and found out that she has worked with other trans folks so scored a win.  As for coming out, only my therapist and my wife know.  And my wife was first.   We have been together for 20 years, married for over 14 of them and I told her about 3-4 years ago.  I don't like holding secrets from her but this was something I buried deep inside and has been growing since coming out to myself about 5 years ago. I got very lucky that she is willing to be part of my discovery of what this all means.  I would say giving your partner time to think over something that you have been thinking over for a very long time can be key.  I would recommend reading She's Not There by Jennifer Finney Boylan. I just finished it and found it very helpful.

Michelle

Hey Steph...

Your GP should be able to prescribe it for you.

You were in 'Denial'... you didn't Lie to yourself. Two very different things.

All human beings have a feminine side and a masculine side... It's Very Normal. There is nothing wrong with exploring/expressing your feminine side... it's a wonderful thing.

We have been raised in a society where both GG/GB have been Brainwashed into believing (for most), that girls are Pink... boys are Blue, girls play with dolls... boys play with toy cars, girls can cry... boys must not. Girls can express their femininity... boys, Must Not.

Those are the opinions/beliefs of others... Who Are They to dictate, to you and I how to live our lives, how to feel, how to act, what to wear...

It's Your life, Your world... live it how You see fit. Don't let anyone else tell you any different...

Love,

Gen ❤

Therapy.... naw, not for me. Never saw the need for it.

I told my wife (of 29 yrs) last July of my CD/TG. I just came out (no pun intended) and told her. My dressing/makeup/bling was escalating and she would have found out eventually... so I thought best to tell her rather than her 'accidentally' finding out on her own. Who knows what thoughts may have gone through her mind. Didn't want her to be hurt.

She was very apprehensive at first, but now is 99% on board.

Sounds like you are at the point where you need to tell someone... and that someone needs to be your wife. Don't wait for 'the right moment', there will never be a right moment. Just sit her down and tell her. You'll feel much better for it.

As you must be aware, the 'Talk' could go good, or it could go bad... or anywhere in between. Be prepared for the worst case scenario.

I hope all goes well for you...

Love,

Gen ❤

[postquote quote=101938]
My advice to how you go about what you decide is the best route for you, nobody else can tell you what you should do. You will arrive at your path to transcend this situation.

The one and most important aspect are your thoughts, beliefs, and perceptions of yourself. If you can maintain a highly positive sense and feeling that this will go forward in a good way without conflict and pain, you begin to create that outcome. When you think about this, speak or write about it, use only positive words and only discuss it in that way. When you think about to outcome, try to feel in your mind and yourself how great you will feel when you come out the other side of this with great results and support. Know that you have the ability to create your own future. Everything that you think, say and write can and will have an influence on what happens for the rest of your life.

Perhaps, reflect on your life with that in mind and see if you can see how you have got to the point you are at now! It may be the way that you can connect with this in yourself. I write this on the basis of my own experiences and what I have learned from others and been taught.

I send you my love to help you take the right road for your future and that you will know which is the one to take

Sophie

Stephanie:

Coming out is a very important thing to do. But, here’s the thing: It needs to happen on your own terms. The process is nothing more than telling YOUR reality, what you feel and how that causes you difficulty. Basically it is your story. However, it you are outed by someone else, it becomes VERY hard to tell your story. Someone else has stolen the narrative and what comes out will likely be tainted by their misinformation, assumptions and prejudices. That situation does you no good and it is very hard for you to regain control...