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I’ve got a dilemma

6 Posts
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Posts: 3
Member
Topic starter
(@krisfl)
Active Member     United States of America, Florida
Joined: 4 years ago

I need your help. My gf knows about my transition, but just won’t talk about it. It’s almost as if she’s just ignoring it.
mom not sure what to do. I love this woman, and really do believe we are meant to be together, but with her not wanting to even talk about it, I’m very confused.
Your intro and suggestions are appreciated!

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5 Replies
Posts: 41
Member
(@meran)
Eminent Member     United States of America, Tennessee, Nashville
Joined: 5 years ago

Wow, I thought this was going to be easy to answer, but...!  Not many cis-women are open to their mates being transgender.  I base this on my last two marriages and other relationships I tried to start.   Based on how you worded your message, I would say she believes if she ignores it long enough, the 'phase' will fade away and she will not have to deal with it.  You can do all the explaining possible and they won't budge.

You also feel this woman is meant to be with you?  You may be mistaken and do not want to accept it as such.  She may love the man she met, not the transgender woman you prefer to be around her.

I met a cis-female, I should say she met me on a transgender dating site.  She wrote me and had been in some sketchy relationships, both male and female and figured I would be good for her instead.  Well, 1.5 years later, we're going strong.  I may still be pre-op, but she accepts me as female.   I feel like a 'lesbian' with her that I may have male genitalia, but she calls that a 'bonus'.  I have been on HRT for four years and it has helped my appearance as well.

Good luck with your relationship.  I wish the best for you.

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Posts: 52
Member
(@seraphina)
Trusted Member     Germany, Baden-Württemberg
Joined: 4 years ago

Hey Kris, you have my sympathies. I think my wife is in a similar place. Each of us has to find our own path but I wish you the best for your journey. Remember there’s always a way xx

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Posts: 52
Member
(@seraphina)
Trusted Member     Germany, Baden-Württemberg
Joined: 4 years ago

DM me anytime if you want to chat x

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Posts: 69
(@kdahlenbergen)
Trusted Member     United States of America, Minnesota, Park Rapids
Joined: 5 years ago

Ongoing dialogue is essential if you and your GF are to survive as a couple through your transition.   Some relationships do survive, but not under the conditions you describe.   You’ll either have to encourage these conversations or expect that  one day the relationship may end explosively.

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Posts: 21
Member
(@hosecat7)
Eminent Member     United States of America, Florida, Tarpon Springs
Joined: 4 years ago

I myself am having trouble with all my friends especially my best friend . He is like a brother to me. They have all condemned my transition. With much help from my therapist I have been much better at giving them time to adjust to me. No longer constantly forcing my feminity on them but showing them it's still me. It does take time but I know who I am and that will not change. Hopefully they will see how happy and content I am and we will all live on. Hope you find the right formula and all will go well...Don't give up!!

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