Are you willing to feeel goood?
In the past, I have used being authentic as an excuse for feeling dark n twisty.
I use the word authentic because there are so many labels used to describe and categorize and compartmentalize who we are or not. If we are to choose a label for anything, we first must set out the guidelines of what qualifies that anything as a good 'fit' for our category or compartment.
I recall a visit to a friend’s home some time ago and although we had a truly wonderful visit, some comments were made that left me asking myself am I trans enough to be transgender, or am I a crossdresser, gender non-conforming? Just a side note, the label Trans is an umbrella term used to describe a wide range of rainbow tribe members in our society.
This is not about being trans though, it’s about labels, and how we choose to feel in any given moment.
Trans, gender different, fat, thin, tall, short, plumber, doctor and contractor are all labels we use for identification; oh, she’s an accountant or he’s a nurse.
Labels are tossed around and used every day on our tiny blue planet, and they are simply that, labels. Categories and compartments we set up to find a place where we feel like we 'fit in'; labels are our way of feeling like we have belonging, but is that true authenticity?
Belonging is the feeling of being a part of something bigger than the self as I understand it, yet to conform or change oneself so that we fit into a label or group, then we are not being truly authentic.
True authenticity is the courage to stand alone while having a strong sense or knowing that we are a part of something much bigger.
The catch 22 here is that we often use labels to keep ourselves small and stuck. We become addicted to feeling powerless or like a victim. For the most of my life I have unwittingly used self-descriptive labels for this purpose.
This week, ponder this a bit and notice that really, everyone is unique and different, and to be truly happy and at peace on the inside we must let go of the labels and make a new choice. Any time we are trying to fit into a group, we must follow the group guidelines and therefore we lose some of our authentic self in the process of trying to fit in.
If we resist feeling goood, we are in fact choosing to feel miserable or to stay stuck; it is a choice. By choosing to belong to myself, I can joyfully support groups, but also sustain the natural authenticity that is me.
Are you willing to feel goood by dropping the labels, belonging to your self, and be seen by the world in your true authenticity? I am. . .
Thank you for reading Your Weekly Reset and thank you for being exactly who you are lovelies!
Namasté
n huggles for you
Char
Oh my gosh! This is all very familiar to me, having kind of arrived at a very similar point on my very different journey! I have a very good and trusted female friend, my ally, my best girlfriend. We have known each other for years, used to work together, her and her former husband used to help us when we entertained at our home, just good people. She said if she had to pick a letter, she’d just choose Q, One day over a beer and a 😎, she tearfully admitted to me what I had always suspected, that gender did not matter as much as the person, her husband was not the right person, and that is when I came out to her. Since that day nearly three months ago our relationship has blossomed into one of trust, support, understanding and acceptance of who we are, both to ourselves and each other as friends. I am ok with who I am, she is ok…amazing how sometimes just come together ❤️😛
Haley😘
What a beautiful story Haley, niiice. I'm so happy for you both n yeah, I get that, I've had 3 previous "not the right persons" on this adventure, now, my Amazing wife and I are having so much fun playing, exploring and adventuring this path together. I am so Blessed and grateful; that's her name btw, Bless, how fun is that!!
I wish you every wonderful thing you can imagine Haley,
Namaste' dear n huggles too hehe
Char
That is an awesome name! I could have never considered having “the conversation” with GA (like the state!) until I began to understand more about myself. But Special K and I have shared so much about self-acceptance being key, and it has helped me to develop a new perspective about accepting myself and coming out to others.
Glad you have that luxury of an understanding partner, guess I will not know until I ask!
Haley😘
Hi dear, sorry for the absence, its been a busy few months up here.
so have you asked?
I can't even express the level of gratitude I feel for my amazing wife; I have to say, I tried this marriage thing 3 times previously; upfront in each one but the outcomes I chose to continue with.
The way I as able to ask was to detach from the possible outcomes and be honest about my wants and needs for self respect, and also respect what ever choices the other person makes as well.
Meeting my current wife has been a real adventure I must say hahaha
I am so grateful
Namaste' my dear
n huggles
Char
Charee,
Yes I want to feel goood! I'm with you regarding the dangers of labels and how we get shoved into one categoery or another, & lose a bit of ourselves.
We seem to be living in an either/or society - either liberal or conservative, democrat or republican, straight or queer, Padres or Giants (ha, ha), and more and more "either" won't talk to "or" and so the whole shebang breaks down. We don't talk, we don't understand each other, we don't laugh together becasue if we did, heaven forfend, we'd see each other's humanity and before you know it liberal is hanging out with conservative in the garage listening to George Strait on Saturday night. Uh oh - boundary transgression, no-man's-land is being crashed in our very town.
The problem with the situation is not "liberal" or "conseervative", it's not "straight" or "queer." The problem is the OR.The ridiculous idea that lines are clean and sharp, that you can't be both/and in numerous ways. I'm liberal (very) but now and then I hear a conservative idea that is worth further thought. I mean, don't stand on your head waiting to hear one, but it happens.
Life is not an ultimatum, it's not a war of disputing sides, it's not having to choose which parts of ourselves we're willing to have amputated. I want my woman self, I want to know her and beautify her, I want her to be free. But not at the expense of my man self. Call me greedy but I want him too. I want to be authentic like you said, I want to feel goood, all of me, the "I" I use is the inclusive "I" the one that invites all of me (and you and everyone), to come to the ball and get ready to dance!
Life is not one ultimatum after another, it's not about whittling ourselves down, life is about celebrating all our multi-faceted-ness, the beautiful man in the skirt at the Co-Op, the gay couples who want to feel safe and welcomed, the stunning diversity of bodies and noses and skin tones and fingers that we are.
YES to allowing all of our authentic selves to flourish. How I wish it were that easy ... it's not that easy, but communities like Transgender Heaven help us to feel goood, and to be good, to start the conversations that transcend labels and dogmas and the either/or mentality. Diversity is health, in nature, in community, and in our own selves.
The problem is the OR. The ridiculous idea that lines are clean and sharp, that you can’t be both/and in numerous ways.
BAM haha you hit the nail right on the head sweetie, thaaank you for that.
When a gardener finds a blue rose, never seen before, in the red rose garden, they don't rip it out, smash it, crush it or burn it. They sequester it, nurture it and help it grow into it's majestic fullness,,,then of course they sell it but that's another part of the story hahaha
I now just choose clothing that I love, I don't care what rack it comes off.
I love making up my eyes and omg the aromatherapy of the Dolche Gabanna light blue my amazing wife bought me, I'm salivating hahaha
The more I stop trying to find my tribe and simply create the conditions to allow my fullest self-expression, the more my tribe finds me and that's pretty cool haha
Namaste' sweet soul, and thank you
huggles too of course
Char
As one Hypnotist (Plus a Hypnotherapist ) and a beautiful person to another, I love the way you write.
Hugs
Veronica
omg Thaaaank you, that's so sweeet, you have given me a wonderful gift today dear; of course my apologies for not being online for a few months, lotsa changes and lotsa work hahaha
Hypnotherapist too hey? that's so cool, What a fascinating creature we are hey? hahaha
So you practice self-hypnosis I'm guessing? hehe
Okay, I will do my best to get on here again sooner that 3 months haha
huggles dear
Namaste'
Char
I just haven’t been here much, over on CDH every day. This week, I had my annual PCP appt, and I introduced him to Haley. He shared that they have a trans son, Chris (born Christine), and Chris and his wife Sara are raising their child and are still very happy together after his transition. He was very understanding and helpful and offered to be a resource should I wish to consider a transition.
