Coming Out to My Gr...
 
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Coming Out to My Grown Daughter

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Posts: 44
(@roxanne)
Eminent Member     United States of America, Georgia, Clarkesville
Joined: 6 years ago

I so wish I could live my life as Roxanne. I want to wake up each morning, freshen my make-up, put on my panties, nylons, skirt and blouse, and go out to face the world! I so wish I could. Next, I want to find a man to be a husband to me, and let me be his wife! I will be his good girl, and love him silly! I will make him so happy, and completely satisfied, as his woman. Oh, I have so much love to give, and I want to start now! Oh, please help me with this. First, how do I find, and attract, my sweet, loving man?
Miss Roxanne Lanyon
A Woman in Need

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1 Reply
Silver
(@briellerose)
Joined: 3 years ago

Estimable Member     United States of America, Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh
Posts: 179

Hi Roxanne, I may be the wrong one to ask since I'm still attracted to my wife. But I'd be lying if I said I never thought about either being a wife to a kind, handsome man or having my wife completely feminize me. She's not a dominant type, though, so that will stay a fantasy. I had an Internet thing for a few weeks late last year with a really great man who lived in SOCAL. If I had been single, I probably would have gone out there for a visit, but he's also married. I had to stop because I was getting so conflicted with my marriage - it felt like cheating.

I found him when I put some pics on Flickr. But I also had to ignore several trolls. Have you tried TGTalk? It's a little sketch, but there may be some men there who would treat a gurl right.

Hugs,

Brie XOXO

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Posts: 1
Member
(@angielav)
New Member     United States of America, Florida, Orlando
Joined: 2 years ago

Hi Brielle,
Thank you for this important message. I am in a situation much like yours. I am 76 and have been out since 2020 to my wife and two daughters (40, 42). We have been married for 43 years and I am struggling with the same issues regarding our relationship. We haven't had sex for over 22 years, and I have been faithful during all those years. At this point it seems we are staying together. I know she loves me and she continues to treat me like her husband, though I would much rather be treated as a girlfriend. I appreciate your comments about HRT. I so want to start HRT and continue my transition but I am concerned that my wife will not approve. I know it is my decision but we are so co-dependent after 43 years it is hard to make a unilateral decision.

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1 Reply
Silver
(@briellerose)
Joined: 3 years ago

Estimable Member     United States of America, Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh
Posts: 179

Hi Angela, I understand. We haven't gone quite that long a stretch without intimacy. It actually was getting better before I revealed my need to transition. The problem our wives face is they still want to be treated like the princess and be pursued. They don't understand we want to be pursued and feel desirable even if we aren't presenting as female.

I don't have any easy answers. It's hard when your spouse admits that sometimes she feels like recoiling when you sit near her or try to hug her. But if the positions were reversed, I doubt I'd be much more attracted to a wife with whiskers and looking like a dude.

We feel better for dressing, but they feel lost. The big regret I have is not at least telling her when we met that I had a history of crossdressing, and let her decide then if she could deal.

Thanks for the complement on the article. My daughter mer Brielle in person last Sunday when I was heading back from the Keystoine Conference. We talked and enjoyed our time as if there wasn't any difference to her at all.

Hugs,

Brie

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Posts: 1
Member
(@pippa66)
New Member     United Kingdom, Somerset
Joined: 2 years ago

Hi Briele. I am in a slightly different situation in that I was divorced about 15 years ago, so am very much single. I didn't have contact with my daughter for 7 years. We got back in contact about 6 months ago. He is now transitioning ftm which I couldn't be happier about but am still very anxious about coming out to him as mtf transgender myself. I have been on Spironolactone for some time and about to start hormone treatment. I don't know when would be a good idea to come out to him as I don't want to do anything to jeopardise our renewed relationship
Hugs
Pippa X

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1 Reply
Silver
(@briellerose)
Joined: 3 years ago

Estimable Member     United States of America, Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh
Posts: 179

Hi Pippa, that's so great that your AFAB child is transitioning (felt strange to call them "daughter" when they are using male pronouns!). I wonder if it might work the opposite to what you think. He may be hurt that you didn't trust him enough to tell him. Try to avoid projecting your fears on oitcome to them. We all do that and it isn't helpful.

You know the situation best, but if it were me, I'd want him to hear it from me first, than to find out on their own, and that they wish they could have given you support when you needed it.

Good luck, and know our children's reactions are rarely as extereme as we expect them to be.

Hugs,

Brie

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Posts: 3
 Leah
Member
(@zendawg)
New Member     United States of America, Pennsylvania, Lancaster
Joined: 2 years ago

Thank you for this article. It's very helpful to me. I am just beginning to contemplate coming out to my adult son. My greatest concern is how it might affect him psychologically. I'm pretty sure he could accept it, but he's had struggles with alcohol and has just been sober for a little more than a year. I have been his anchor through this process and so my concern is as ti what might be his need to see me as a man. It's impossible to tell. He's aware of me cross-dressing for about ten years and seems fine with that. He's done some cross-dressing himself in the past.

I'm not looking for any advice, just sharing what I'm dealing with. I'll come to a decision in my own time when I feel ready. Thanks for your article. It encourages me.

Best,

Leah

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2 Replies
Silver
(@briellerose)
Joined: 3 years ago

Estimable Member     United States of America, Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh
Posts: 179

Hi Leah, yes it's a personal decision that we all have to make. I will say that my daughter being in a same-sex marriage made it easier, but she would be affirming regardless. If you do have any questions or struggles, I'm a private chat away!

Hugs,

Brie

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 Leah
Member
(@zendawg)
Joined: 2 years ago

New Member     United States of America, Pennsylvania, Lancaster
Posts: 3

Thanks, Brie. Good to know. I will keep that in mind.

Hugs back to you,

Leah

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Posts: 2
Member
(@jaimeefarmer)
New Member     United States of America, Texas, Dallas
Joined: 1 year ago

I have been thinking about coming out to my adult daughter also. My biggest fear is that she won't be able to accept me as I am.
I came out to my wife about a year ago and she took the winter months to think it over. She decided that she wanted a divorce and it will be final soon. We had many LGBTQ friends and family members during our marriage. But when it came to me, it was not OK in her house! Since finding a place to live by myself I'm surprisingly doing OK. Actually, I'm doing much better than OK, I'm happier now than I have been in a long time. I have more time to be me and to explore the person I was meant to be. I'm afraid that the same thing could happen with my daughter and I would end up losing not only her but also my granddaughter. I know I couldn't handle that, so closeted I will stay. At least for the time being.
Thank you for your article, it was very helpful

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