"I’m not dysphoric-for the most part. I’m just trying to manage my brain’s idea of a logical progression."
-This is exactly how I feel!
indeed - I work in an outdated but technologically complex industry, where public safety is paramount; and it certainly is an old boys club where any woman in the trenches is expected to be mr. macho and just one of the guys. I cannot afford the luxury of seeking hr protection and out myself; as the office will simply dismiss me for being "beyond discipline".
- its technology that keeps me employed -
I enjoy the people but I know too well what coming out would do to my respect from the team as one of their supervisors
i love these and honestly - i want to venture forth but i often find myself mired down in self doubt and wanting companionable friends. Long story short I am working on it - but the pace is glacially slow even for me, near painful even.
Annah: Your problem is intriguing but rest assured, you are among friends. I was somewhat surprised that you fretted about being arrested in New Orleans, of all places. After reading “A Confederacy of Dunces,” I’ve concluded that by now, the city may be one of the most safest places for transgenders, the city’s high murder rate aside. You probably have the country’s political & social climate more on your side than you realize. Even in Pennsylvania, our State Surgeon General was trans, with a plethora of officials in high places around the USA from similar ranks. Should your employer run the risk of suppressing you for your personal choice, they may find themselves mired in a swamp of their own making. Take that NY swagger of yours & harness it unapologetically.
Oh Annah, your post brings back so many memories. Back then, I sweat bullets each time out and about discovering my fem feelings. Yes, I was probably overdone and yes, easily read but I persevered and got back out there the next chance. Today I just dress for the occasion and never seem to have an issue. If I’m being read no one bothers to mention it to me. I always use the girls room but present totally fen also which obviously helps. One thing I have learned is I can fit in with the average looking woman without raising flags. A lot of that is confidence in public. Body movements, smiling, being relaxed, all of it together allows me to represent as an average female. If someone walked up to me closely, I’m sure they would read me, but for the most part, I don’t get read because I blend in. If you sit on a bench at the mall, and count how many beautiful, well dressed woman pass you by in one hour, you probably will not count to five. My gg and I shop and dine out about four days a week and I never have an issue. People are too busy to care about me. The more you venture out, the easier it gets, confidence grows, life just gets better. A little bathroom tip. Do not drink fluids of any type within four hours of venturing out. Do your thing before venturing out.
hugs, Jillleanne
ps: by the look of your profile pic, you could easily be feminized facially with very little work.
