Curse to Gift; a paradigm shift in the making…
I have often thought of and have seen being a trans/gender different person as a curse. I mean, it was illegal even here in Canada until Klippert was released in 1971. Same-sex sexual activity was decriminalized in Canada as a result of legislation (Bill C-150 AKA the omnibus bill) introduced in 1967 and passed in 1969 by then-Justice Minister and Attorney General of Canada, Pierre Trudeau (who later became the 15th Prime Minister of Canada) (referenced: Wikipedia)
I was a mere 10 years old at the time and had no idea what that would mean for me in my adult life. I am not a gay person… or am I, because for all intent and purpose, from a short distance away, I am mostly referred to as Miss or Ma'am. "How may I help you ladies today?" is the most common one heard when my amazing wife and I are out shopping together.
It’s not until I look a person in the eye and get within 15 feet do they notice a five-o'clock shadow or a more masculine face shape. It's in this moment that their true colors begin to shine brightly for me, and to everyone watching. There are a brief few seconds where the person suddenly realizes that I was born male and reacts.
Before they become aware of the moment and put on their mask, their expression, body language, and eyes will show the world what their core beliefs are about gender-different people.
Most often, the ladies behind the cash out will compare nail polish or comment on my earrings. Almost every encounter I've had is one of compliments and well wishes for a good day, but now and then there is someone who will look down, not speak, or suddenly become focused on the numbers on the till. I smile inside and feel grateful.
What I have viewed as a curse for the better part of my life is now making the shift to Gift…
When I see those who suddenly look away, blush or act uncomfortable by my presence, I see an opportunity to teach. I gently ask something like, "how has our day been for you my friend?"
Those who are really stuck don’t even look up, but most will look up and engage with me in a light and friendly conversation. I have practiced, and now teach rapport building skills to length so the result 99% of the time is the person behind the till is educated that people who are different than the crowd are not all serial killers, pedophiles, or monsters.
Before I leave each of these conversations, regardless of our interaction, I simply say, “Thank you for being a kind person, not everyone is, so I am grateful.”
The result so far has always been something like: “You're very welcome, thank you for your courage.”
The Gift is that each of us has this unique part of us. We can share our gift and be a part of the exciting expansion of human consciousness by showing the world that we are nice people contributing to our world or we can call it a curse and complain about how unaware some people still are on our planet.
Our gift helps us see the true colors of some before they even speak, and this awareness gives us possible choices in how we choose to interact with them.
Two words come to mind here; be kind.
The more we are kind and show people a new story about who we are, the quicker it will replace the old story, which will then simply fade into history regardless of those few who continue the noise as they kick and scream their way into becoming obsolete.
The gift, although extremely challenging at times, is no small matter; this is worldwide change we are each helping to bring about, in whatever way that we are ready, willing, and able to so.
Keep on girls!
Live on the front edge of your comfort zone and share with others your gift. Be who you are with the world and watch as over time, the bullies will retreat to quiet places to cry out and complain, but no one will be listening any longer to their rhetoric. The world will have expanded yet again, leaving them behind.
We are free, the offspring of a deathless soul and the creators of world change…that’s pretty cool really; don’t ya think?
Thank you for reading and thank you for being exactly who you are!
Namaste’ n huggles Ladies
Char
I so agree Charee. I've only come out full time more recently and only within the past 2 years, as I gradually shifted from part time dressing to living full time as a woman, that I've shifted from cross dressing into more transgender. I've met another woman who has been transgender for over 6 years now, we've become very good friends, and weekly we meet and go out together. Initially we stuck closer to the city, a more mixed, open, accepting, safe environment, but eventually we started reaching out, trying places on the outskirts, places we've never been before, places we can't be sure of. Now we're talking deep south here, lots of them good ol boys, and you can't help but feel some apprehension sometimes. On more than several occasions we were the first time anyone like us had ever walked thru the doors, and many people had never actually met anyone like us. But we always go with a good attitude, smile, be friendly, be happy. If we go into places scared and ashamed, people detect that and will react accordingly, like we should be afraid and ashamed. But if we're happy, having a good time, people are attracted, and after a bit we'll usually be chatting with someone, or 2, usually women are open first, curious. Men are more scared, afraid of what their buddies might say about them, it takes them awhile, usually after their girlfriend or wife has been chatting with us for awhile. We have never left anyplace afraid, we've always had a good time, and yes, while it does take people a little while to adapt, once they see that actually we are just people, like anyone else, they get at ease. We're in their home space, it's easier for them to get comfortable. We've been given a bad rap by these drag queens in schools and libraries, many times all people know is the negative press we've received over the decades. Many, around here anyway once you get out of the city, have never actually met a cross dresser or trans person face to face. Indeed, if we want people to accept us as they accept anyone else, well, we have to get out there and act like anyone else. Some of the places have become regulars for us, and just like tonight, karaoke night in a bar on the outskirts of town, there I was, the only transgender person in a place with over a hundred people, having a good time just like everyone else, and no one gave a 2nd thought about it. Ain't that great? There are now 4 of us, me and my friend and a lesbian couple we've met along the trail, who go out to find new places, to "break em in". It is time, the only way the world is going to get to know who we really are is if we go out there and meet them. They won't come to us, and most are far more open minded now than we might think. All that holds us back is our own fears.
Hugs,
Jennifer
PS. We do all carry mace though, and I've been through Advanced Infantry Training so I know a trick or 3. There are demented people out there in the world, everywhere, you never know when you might run into one, anywhere. Although so far we have never had any issues (except my friend gets hit on a lot, she is so stupid gorgeous) it never pays to become careless.
