I can recall the first time I began to realize that I was feminine. I was five-years old and fascinated by girls' clothing and shoes. I loved how they looked and wanted to wear them. I would watch my mom do her nails and get ready.
My parents noticed it as well. I would come out of my younger brother's room wearing his old clothing. (My younger brother is a post op FTM so I was wearing his girl clothes back then.) My parents were concerned for both of us.
I dressed as a girl for Halloween when I was 11. Even at such a young age, I was able express to them that I'm happy as male who loves feminine clothing and shoes. Then my younger brother came out to them about how unhappy he was as girl; they took it well. It worked out well for me as I ended up with his old girl clothing.
In coming out for me, I had zero regrets. It was finally age 13 that I went fulltime. Mom took me out to get my nails done, including getting my ears pierced. I loved it, and I can tell you it was a great feeling the first time I wore hoop earrings. That first time out as Adrianna, family members could tell, and told me so, that I looked much happier.
By the time I turned 13, I had begun to be treated like one of the girls. My parents wanted to do what was the right thing to do, and they did. Through my high school years, I was accepted very well by my friends. Living fulltime as Adrianna, I would go out with my female friends. They would pick out something for me to wear. They helped me big time in a pinch, too. They took me shopping with them, even picking out clothing as if they could read my mind and knew what I liked.
There were times when I was teased and picked on, called horrible names, but now my life now is great. I live as a fulltime CD with my supportive wife, Tara, who I married in January. She loves all of me. We met three years ago while shopping. She told me that I looked beautiful and wrote her phone number on a piece of paper, putting it in my purse. We do things together, such as getting our nails done and of course…we go shopping together…
This is so beautiful that I need to cry...... I am so happy for you both and that your parents are so amazing and I wish all parents understood.
Do you think you will ever transition even though you live full time as a woman? With not knowing the future myself if I were living full time as a woman I would need to seriously consider transitioning, but that is me.
I do envy you because you are so resolute! Knowing your mind is half the battle knowing or reading others is the other half of the battle. It’s a pleasure to know someone who is happy being who they know themselves to be.
So true-I'm still figuring out my own mind but I DO know Cyn is the reason I am who I am and she will be at least a part if not the whole of me forever.
Cyn
Well and truly said Cyn! Our female self is who we are. The male facade is what we present to the world. The decision to change the facade to our real self is a huge choice some of us make. In the end we live with our choices in life and whether you chose to show the facade or the real you is ultimately your own choice not the doctors, not your SO, not even your family or friends. You are not alone making the decision and going through the transition but you will either be you and happier or not. If this were an easy choice we would all be walking around as female with no regrets. Alas an easy choice this is not and make it you may or may not. Follow your heart and live your dream, bring those of your family and friends who stay by your side and those who did not were not true to you and who you are becoming.
A decision to transition can be a scary prospect and you should not be alone in this process. Rejoice in your decision to become you! If you do not rejoice for you who will?
In the grand scheme of things in the world this is you time, more important than presidents, more important than the super bowl. More important than the Stanley cup or the Grey cup! This is your journey and yours alone but you travel with family, friends, and pen pals from here. Be safe, be kind, be smart, but most of all be yourself! Love ❤️ and hugs 🤗
Danielle 💋👠👗🦋
My younger brother was very unhappy,he was on the estrogen blockers when I went fulltime.Did support each other and still do.I was there with mom for support when he had his srs in 1999.I remember him tearing up looking down there seeing the results.I teared up too hugging him
Hey Adrianna: Interesting post. I too knew I was female when I was four or five. My sisters used to crossdress me all the time and I became sexually aroused by wearing girl's clothes (still do). It didn't bother me much until I went to high school and hit puberty. Then all hell broke loose in my mind. I had to keep my inner feelings in check, being a typical sports-loving boy by day and dreaming I was a pretty girl when I was in bed at night (opium helped a lot!) Then I got married - and that was a disaster. My wife caught me all dressed up and threatened to expose me, the f****ing bitch! (pardon my French). Thank your lucky stars you have an understanding and loving partner - treat her like gold dust as she does you. After a messy divorce, I had quite a few affairs with good-looking ciswomen, but I was still the man (no-one suspected I was a promiscuous lesbian in heat). Now I have a pretty 19-year-old girl friend who's also my primary carer (I'm a high-functioning PD sufferer) and we have great times together, making up and doing our nails, clothes and cosmetics shopping at Priceline and Target, lunching, binge-watching TV series (we both love "Wentworth"), gossiping (we both hate the Kardashians except for Kylie Jenner - frankly, her mum's a batty old poseuer) and are a pair of well-adjusted good-time girls. I love my new life: transitioning is fun, just started hormones and am breathlessly counting the days until I start growing boobies and have a good gurly cry. I socialise as Jayne, play cricket as Jayne, have come out to the world as Jayne on LinkedIn and let the whole family know at a big lunch recently (no big speeches, tho). I am sill a kinky CD: suffice to say I like playtime with BDSM mistresses and high-price hookers. To misquote Warren Beatty in Bonnie and Clyde, "Ain't translife grand!" And ain't Faye Dunaway a babe! Good luck with your life, keep happy memories and stay well. xxx Jayne
