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Here's the Thing

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Posts: 23
Member
(@kb)
Eminent Member     United States of America, Florida
Joined: 3 years ago

Very well written.
Thanks Brina

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1 Reply
Managing Editor
(@bmactavish)
Joined: 6 years ago

Reputable Member     United States of America, Iowa
Posts: 247

Thank you, Kelly 🙂

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Posts: 12
Member
(@clairec)
Active Member     United States of America, Kentucky
Joined: 2 years ago

Brina, thank you for writing this article. It was something I needed to read and hear right now. I know how you feel and wish we all could not only have the courage but be able to live without the fear of judgment to live out our true lives. That’s my current struggle now and just trying to figure out the best way to do it.

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Managing Editor
(@bmactavish)
Joined: 6 years ago

Reputable Member     United States of America, Iowa
Posts: 247

Hang in there! There isn't a need to be this or that, no rule book, no clock counting down. Just find that which you can do and take it a step at a time.

Brina

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Posts: 4
Member
(@lionessrising)
New Member     United States of America, California, Santa Clara
Joined: 2 years ago

Brina,
Thanks for sharing your story and the eloquence at which you wrote this article. It means a lot to me at my place in this path. I’ve only recently considered the idea that my interests in the feminine are more than a hobby that was easy to put on a shelf when life got complicated and fitting into the traditional role makes life easier for those whom I love. However, recently I’ve realized that if the reason I’m depressed and anxious is related to being dishonest about my gender identity than maybe my conforming to a male role is not the best for my son, wife and others I love.

It is a beautiful experiment you propose, and I feel as I’ve gotten older I can see what I might be if I’d have been part of that experiment as I’ve slowly pushed myself without even knowing. For example, when I was 13 I started riding/jumping motorcross motorcycles and when sixteen started riding on the road. Nearly 3 decades after hopping on the saddle I ride a 150cc, bright yellow, vintage-style Vespa. I’d like to think that I’d have walked out of that room on a Vespa letting my hair (helmet permitting) fly free I’m the wind with a bright flower dress.

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Managing Editor
(@bmactavish)
Joined: 6 years ago

Reputable Member     United States of America, Iowa
Posts: 247

Great comments and imagery! You really got the gist of what I was trying to say. Even as we try to evaluate ourselves, we still use societal stereotypes. I believe we just are and will eventually find that blend that makes us the happiest (given the circumstances we are in). Thank you for the comments! 🙂

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Posts: 69
(@kdahlenbergen)
Trusted Member     United States of America, Minnesota, Park Rapids
Joined: 4 years ago

This was a good read. What really struck me were the terms you used to describe your current situation and reluctance to live more openly than you might. I sometimes see myself as a coward, an imposter, a realist and a few other things. Truth is, I love the time I am able to spend presenting as a woman, but I am afraid of the risks and potential disruption it would cause for others. Its a bit of a conundrum.

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Managing Editor
(@bmactavish)
Joined: 6 years ago

Reputable Member     United States of America, Iowa
Posts: 247

It all really comes down to personal balance. I can, but I can't (in a realist self-discussion). Just exactly can I do that I can accept? It's an easy answer if I only think about myself. Yes, this is an extremely important undertaking, but so are other decisions that we make in our lives--having children, committing adultery, stealing from our employer. I'm not trying to compare bad or good, just the severity of the consequences one might have to endure should a particular event happen. Would I switch? In a heartbeat... but... you know the rest. Thank you for the comments! 🙂

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(@kdahlenbergen)
Joined: 4 years ago

Trusted Member     United States of America, Minnesota, Park Rapids
Posts: 69

Exactly…but for the consequences. I know, I may be overestimating the adverse consequences, but it is impossible to know for sure. So, for now at least, discretion is the better part of valor.

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