I nearly killed mys...
 
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I nearly killed myself

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(@charee)
Reputable Member     Canada, Hawarden, SK, Canada
Joined: 5 years ago
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Holding on to resentments caused me more than a few decades of misery, suffering, and more than one near-death experience.

When I was young, my Dad would jokingly say, “you know you’re having a bad day when the rope breaks”; I never understood that joke, until the day it did.

It broke just on the outside of the knot so when my thrashing body woke up on the ground, I had to loosen the rope from around my neck to breathe again; I had failed more than once at stopping my suffering that way, so it became time to try another choice.

Are you holding on to any resentment for Any-Thing, event, or person my Dears?

feel pain, regret, to feel again
resent (v.) 1600’s, from Old French re sentir

Basically, to keep re-experiencing the emotional misery and suffering we create with our feelings of anger, hurt, betrayal, or injustice, from something we believe was committed “against us” in the past. I resented so many people for so many things, all the while exacerbating my own misery and suffering.

Reliving the hurt in your mind, maybe even unconsciously habitually, automatically, and without any conscious intentional choice; like not really meaning to, but it happens.

We may think it is because of something someone did, didn’t do, said, or didn’t say that we feel resentment towards them.

The truth is resentment is ours and ours alone. It is reliving the emotional trauma over, and over again in the mind and often across the lips, long after what happened has passed.

Resentment is always about the self; when we feel resentment, it's like a gauge on the dashboard of our heart telling us that we are relying on that person, place, or thing for too much of something.

Too much of whatever it is we get from them while trying to fill our own basic needs. Acceptance, love, support, money, stuff. Pretty much anything we rely on them to give us. Sometimes, we will cultivate a small group of people to “get” from, so we don’t burn one out from overuse.

If I am even in part, dependent, on something outside of me to 'make me happy' or whatever, I will resent that thing, whether it is a person or not, whenever it fails to meet my expectations of how it 'should' be - for me to feel happy, loved, whatever.

Love gives, co-dependence needs and takes

Since buried feelings never die, how do we get past those feelings of resentment and move on?

First, approach resentment as the addictive state of mind it is. Science says that it is not the drugs or alcohol that we are addicted to, but instead, it is the chemicals of an emotional 'state of mind'. In other words, we use our drug of choice to feel, or not to feel, those uncomfortable emotions that we have become addicted to.

Resentments are like swallowing poison and expecting the other person to die

or holding a handful of red-hot coals intending to throw them at someone, while it is our hand that is being burned!

This week, if you hold any resentments, first, realize that you are using resentment to replicate and replay old dramas which cause you to continue the suffering long after the event.

Acknowledge that we cannot change the past, but we absolutely can create a present and future that holds a lot more happiness and richness for our lives.

Recognize that your resentment gives you only illusions of strength, while it slowly destroys you from the inside.

This week Reset by starting the practice of the wonderful life skill of conscious, intentional behavior and stop indulging in resentment.

Put a new thought between your feelings of resentment, whatever the reason for them, and the indulgence of ruminating on them creating more of your own misery and suffering; the more you practice this skill, the sooner you enjoy a more consistent happiness and contentment in your life.

We are changing the world, my beautiful sisters!

Thank you for reading Your Weekly Reset, and thank you for being exactly who you are!

Namasté

n huggles for ya's

Char

 

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Member
(@bax)
New Member     United Kingdom, Wiltshire, Liversedge
Joined: 4 years ago

Char I really like your comments they make so much sense, even tho I am 77years young due to past circumstances I have finally come out as a transgender male to female and most ( if not all ) of your comments have helped me, my fem name is actually " Carole " so thank you Char.

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(@charee)
Joined: 5 years ago

Reputable Member     Canada, Hawarden, SK, Canada
Posts: 219

Well hello there Carole, welcome to the world of authenticity hahaha we are a couple of late bloomers I guess but heyyyy,, I am so grateful the world has grown enough to make room for us hahahaha

Kick up your heels doll, as high as ya dare hahaha I can't hop the hedge like I used to, but I can still hop hahaha

Namaste'
n huggles for you dear, thanks so much for your message Hon

hey come watch Live Sessions under the videos tab sometime; we have fun hahaha

Namaste'' n huggles for ya Carole
Char

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(@Brett Roby)
New Member
Joined: 3 years ago

Hi yall

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Guest
(@Brett Roby)
New Member
Joined: 3 years ago

I hope someone's here .. I'm lonely

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(@Brett Roby)
New Member
Joined: 3 years ago

I love you. Truly.

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Posts: 9
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(@happytobe1)
Active Member     United States of America, New Jersey
Joined: 4 years ago

Self destructive behavior seems to be a common thread among us.Not being able to express what is actually going on within you inevitably rears it’s head in irrational ways. I wish I knew through out the past that all I ever really needed to do was to speak the truth about myself and the hurt would go away. My weapon of choice was misdirected anger .I kept my secret buried in convoluted ways. A heavy work load to distract and a lot of pot smoking.
I too had a near death experience. I always wondered if it was a suicide attempt or coincidence. I had to get shoulder surgery. When they gave me the anesthetic I said to myself “ this is my ticket out of here “ I woke up in coronary ICU for 2 weeks while they determined what happened to me. It seems that when they administered the drug I had a seizure and my heart stopped. Had hand prints on my chest from the resuscitation. I’m now the proud owner of an internal defribillator . If my heart stops it will get a jump start. My daughter used to always ask her mom”why is daddy so sad all the time ?”. It broke my heart not to have been truthful with her. Now she is angry with me for not trusting her enough to confide in her.
So much for the past. Yes, I am proud of the accomplishments of that person I created within me. We did good. Now it’s time to show the world what the real me can do.
To the sisterhood and beyond!!!

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(@charee)
Joined: 5 years ago

Reputable Member     Canada, Hawarden, SK, Canada
Posts: 219

Hahaha buzzette lightyear hahaha I love it!! As they say, don't let fear or gravity hold ya back!

I don't have to say this Tonya but sometimes it's good to hear.

I have kept my heart open to my eldest son who has lived an hour away for years with little to no contact with me. The youngest son has refused contact since I showed up authentically, however, the first one I mentioned has recently chosen to reconnect with me and we are currently rebuilding and healing old hurts; as I confessed my fear of showing up, he too confessed his fear of truly being seen in his authenticity; shame is also a silent destroyer of life.

I now choose to believe that everything is possible 🙂 I keep a space in my heart open for all possibilities 🙂

The mind is a very powerful thing I've learned; the trick is to harness that power and use it to create an amazing life 🙂

It just feels so much better than wishing lighting would strike day after day which is how I used to think, and yep, feelings buried alive, never die...

I'm ready to see what Tonya G is gonna show the world hehehe !! and am grateful for you dear..
Thank you for sharing Tonya, you are a gift dear

Namaste'
n huggles Hon
Char

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