Left or Right?

No, not in the political sense, and not in which way to turn, although that would make for some interesting discussions… Ever met that person who only gives directions based on compass points? “Ya head North for 2 miles, take the west road, and when it flips back east, take the southern fork.” Give me left and right with descriptive points. It’s much worse when you are in the city and can’t see the sun to figure out which direction you are going…

Why do I have to suffer trying to button a top with buttons being on the wrong side? Most likely the same question posed by women trying to wear a man’s shirt… Simple answer; it likely started during the Renaissance and Victorian eras. Women’s clothing was more complicated, and to accommodate the upper echelon of aristocrats, tailors began putting buttons on the opposite side of women’s clothing for the slaves and workers (who were generally right-handed) to assemble more easily. Like all things that once made sense and now don’t (I’m talking to you daylight savings time) it stuck.

My man fingers find it difficult to traverse the left-button syndrome. So much so that I buttoned most of them and pulled them on overhead instead. My endless rants don’t end there as I fight with certain types of jewelry to the point I won’t buy it, no matter what price or how exquisite. I can easily maneuver the zipper up my back. Years of stretching have made my left arm bendable (it zips most of the way up) and my right-hand grabs it from the shoulder down—though—those tiny zippers can be a huge pain to grasp with less-than-nimble fingers. Why do we make little clasps for bracelets that need to be held back with one hand while trying to snag an equally small hoop? I can say that I lost my patience many times in trying to complete the task…

So many women take to their significant others to complete irritable tasks. “Honey, can you zip me up? Hook my bracelet for me, will you?” What does the crossdresser say and who do they ask? They do it themselves, and I don’t care how much practice you do, some bracelets remain an ongoing challenge. Thankfully, necklaces are easier. Even certain snap clasps can be difficult—this has more to do with our larger wrists trying to accommodate smaller bracelets—I know… it’s so pretty… Try naming all the styles of clasps. (You might not get the name right but have the description… that counts.) If you get under 5; be amazed at what you learn when you search the internet. Getting 5-8; you’ve been at this dressing thing a while… More than 8; you are a connoisseur of jewelry and taste… I like the snap (although they call it a jewelry clasp—you now have at least one answer.)

Back to the heart of my post and the deeper thoughts that I tend to put with it. I’ve thought long (probably too much so) on this thought. Why do they make things differently for women and men? Why not go with the best, the simplest, and the least trying way to manufacture items? This includes clothing, shoes, jewelry, and a large host of products. Living (as many women already do) within both sides of the universe, I’ve come to ponder these wonderments quite often. If every man would wear the light cotton or nylon briefs that the majority of women turn to instead of boxers and heavy material briefs, they’d be amazed at the comfort and feel. We know, but can’t tell our guy friends… Maybe we should slip them a pair in their golf bag… Women are smart about things, and clothing options are high on the list. Don’t get me wrong… what woman or man wants to wear and endure the pain of stiletto heels, shapewear, and impractical clothing? Only those, like us, or women who are making a statement, whether it be for fashion, sex appeal, or status.

NO PAIN; NO GAIN. If I can’t breathe but my waist looks smaller and shapelier, I’m down with it. Multiple nicks from a razor to get me as close shaven for softer-looking skin… yep, I’ll walk around with tissue tabs on my face. Forcing my narrow and long feet into devil-trap shoes, walking on them to take pictures as my feet cry out for mercy, ABSOLUTELY. They are to die for—literally, not to mention making my legs look great and satisfying my devotion to all things feminine, especially the allure of high heels. I admit that I once was a loyal devotee of sex appeal and quickly found out (as many women know) that certain styles and looks aren’t great for men trying to look feminine and sexy or for women either. The opposite is true. I’ve known, seen, and tried on clothing where it hides all those wonderful aspects because I thought the style was something… Most men CDs have nice legs but many stick with long skirts and frumpy tops because it is their self-reflection. Just as many of us wish to be the stripper on the stage with big… you know… and wearing scintillating clothing. Not going to happen for us and 95% of women either.

Until the world rights itself, which won’t be happening anytime soon, I’ll continue to fight with those buttons, diligently work at all types of clasps, and gleefully put my aching feet into shoes that only a lover of high heels would relish. One last thought. I love wearing those long nails, but before I put them on, I make sure the jewelry, the dress, and the shoes are on first, and makeup too. It’s bad enough doing zippers and clasps without them on. It doesn’t help that they also aren’t as sturdy as our own nails. I have found a way (that doesn’t mean crazy glue) to keep them more secure and usable in situations of complexity…

Until next time… be who you see on the inside even when you can’t dress. I’ve learned that I am one person and trying to completely or deny that part of me makes me less. Less fun, less nice, less compassionate. It isn’t always about male and female; sometimes it is about being a person that others like to be around…