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My Journey So Far

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(@sam90)
Active Member     United Kingdom, Gwent, Newport
Joined: 6 years ago
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Ever since I can remember, I have always felt different. I loved football and rugby and was not into anything girly. I always dreamt of growing up and becoming a man. As I looked in the mirror time and time again, however, I was upset at the fact that the body of a girl was staring back at me.

This feeling got stronger as I grew older. When I left home to go to university, the feeling of being different got a lot stronger. Yes, I have had relationships with men, but I never felt comfortable. It felt wrong and strange, and I always had a feeling I was only doing it to fit in.

So, in August 2015, I saw my doctor and told him how I honestly felt. He understood everything I was telling him and realized that part of the reason I have depression and anxiety is because I’ve had to pretend to be someone I’m not. I have seen numerous counselors who have all said the same thing: I am trapped in the wrong body. (Gender dysphoria, to be exact.) I was referred to a specialist and, in January 2018, I was prescribed testosterone.

Before starting treatment, I had to tell my family, friends and work colleagues, and I did. The support has been amazing. I changed my name from Sarah to Sam and started my testosterone injections in April 2018. I have my third injection this week and the changes have been amazing so far. After only two injections, my voice is getting deeper and I’m growing facial and body hair.  Also, my shape is changing to a more masculine shape. I had my hair cut in June and am loving my journey so far.

The only problem I find is there is very little emotional support throughout transitioning. I hope this site helps.

 

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Posts: 202
(@cyberian2)
Estimable Member     Canada, Avon, Elliot Lake
Joined: 6 years ago

Very good article Sam. You have my support...still working on photos of Canada for you.

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(@sam90)
Joined: 6 years ago

Active Member     United Kingdom, Gwent, Newport
Posts: 10

Thankyou Dame Veronica and for your support. I look forward to seeing your photos of Canada and once I have some of Newport I'll post some to you.

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Posts: 4
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(@damionknight)
Active Member     United States of America, Washington
Joined: 6 years ago

Hey Sam! I'm on a similar journey as a FtM.. what you wrote is exactly what I've gone through since I was small. I am just now crawling my way out. I have cut my hair, raeachee out to the LBGT community here, told my best friend, starting to wear clothes that show who I am and today just spoke with my doc. I start councling next week. The best thing about talking to my son is that she was amazing and understanding. Had great advise about steps to take, and called it a journey. Told me that even though my family doesn't know yet, that it really is in the best interest of my well being to do what I needed to do to feel and become who I really was. 🙂

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(@sam90)
Joined: 6 years ago

Active Member     United Kingdom, Gwent, Newport
Posts: 10

Hi Damion,

It took me till I was 24 to tell someone who I really was and that was just my doctor. It took me alot longer to tell family because I was terrified at what they're reaction might be. My mums taken it hard but is slowly coming around. How are you finding it?

Sam

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(@damionknight)
Joined: 6 years ago

Active Member     United States of America, Washington
Posts: 4

hey sorry I have been absent as of lately, a lot happening and a much going on as far as "ME"... I am just starting this coming out journey. I have told my husband... and just recently my real father and step mom... they JUST learned a few min ago.. still waiting for reaction. I have no idea how I'm going to even tell my mom.... I am so scared, I feel like I will loose her. If she accepted me ... at the least told me she loved me and still want to be a part of my life that would be amazing.

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(@sam90)
Joined: 6 years ago

Active Member     United Kingdom, Gwent, Newport
Posts: 10

Oh wow that sounds amazing but scary at the same time. Hope your family reacted ok. Let me no and message me if you need to talk.

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Posts: 196
Admin
(@vanessa)
Reputable Member     United States of America, Washington, Seattle
Joined: 6 years ago

Dear thank you for sharing your journey, and for finding us. I'm hoping that we can be a good support system for you as you take your next steps.

I'd love to hear more about your coming out experience, and other experiences you've had if you'd be willing to write a few more articles. I think they would help others realize they are not alone as well!

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(@sam90)
Joined: 6 years ago

Active Member     United Kingdom, Gwent, Newport
Posts: 10

Thankyou Vanessa, I will write a few more articles if it helps others too.

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Admin
(@vanessa)
Joined: 6 years ago

Reputable Member     United States of America, Washington, Seattle
Posts: 196

It definitely will dear!
I've had so much good feedback on every article that details a part of my experience, what I went through and how I approached it. I know others would benefit!

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Posts: 46
Ambassador - Editor
(@april-king)
Trusted Member     United States of America, Washington, Camano Island
Joined: 6 years ago

Thanks for sharing Sam. I wish you the best on your journey. I can only imagine how hard it must be hiding your true self. April is only a part of me and even hiding her for 30+ years was very hard.

Hugs,
April

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(@sam90)
Joined: 6 years ago

Active Member     United Kingdom, Gwent, Newport
Posts: 10

Thankyou April

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Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

Good to hear from a trans brother,many years back would never believe that transmen ecisted

The road has many travelers,and I have a lot of transmen as friends

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Posts: 0
Guest
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

Family reaction can be very hard,but it is one of the costs we must bare it seems.

Stay strong and become your true self.

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