Thank you for this article. It is very timely and very much could be my story. I’m curious the medical reference. I was born in 1967 and my mom took DES to save the pregnancy. I’m convinced that is why I am who I am. I wish you well on your journey. I feel like I am at the precipice of mine. Though the “fall” will be wonderful in the end. I know that but still that next step is so difficult.
I was unable to comment on each reply individually but felt like this morning I wanted to say something that I feel is very important. I know my spouse loves me very much, but she cannot accept the fact that I am a transgender woman. This weekend in the midst of trying to explain and get her to understand I felt something break inside of me. I realized that loving me does not mean that other people sometimes even our loved ones will see that there is a human being behind all this who is really trying to cling to life.
I don't know who will support and be with me in the future, but the more my transition progresses that more I realize that I will inevitably loose the people I love most. This is extremely difficult and is a constant threat that could derail my transition.
I don't want to sound or behave like a martyr, but living in a family and society that is mostly transphobic and has no regard for the human being behind that apparent gender identity "problem" could have broken me, if not for people I started including in my life who is supporting me on this journey. My biggest mistake all these years was to try and deal with this alone and I am so thankful that I reached out in time so that my small support network who consists of my therapist, my doctor and a few online friends are there to listen and support me now.
I guess if I could give any advice to any new members or anyone out there in the same boat as so many of us...Do not walk alone. There is no need. Find and build a support network as soon as possible.
Regards,
Michelle.
Thank you Michele for sharing your journey. Having been reading these journeys for twenty years now because of my interest in gender identity, Your family ties always require work, because we have shared our love with each of these persons and they are now having to adjust to a person that they thought they knew deeply but know recognize that you had more to share with them than they had known.
For some people they feel like you had not told them something that meant a great deal to you and they feel left out of the journey that you have been making. So not only do you have to bring them up to date but you have to realize that they have to adjust to feelings of being left out of your journey. Some people are more tolerant of these feelings than others. But we have to recognize that those feelings are there and make allowance for them. Trust is an important component of any personal relationship. This is where we often have to do the most work. Understanding is very important and often people do not understand transgender needs, but re-establishing trust is equally important. May God Bless you in your relationships as you continue your transition. You write about it well so I am confident that your persistence will yield positive result for all involved in the end.
Pippin
I am so glad you shared this. This is so similar to my own journey, and I know there are many more of us in a similar boat, so to speak. Just wanted to let you know that sharing your journey thus far has helped at least one person. Thank you!
Thank you to each and every person who responded to my article. I have to single out Tom Hood's response. What you say is so true. I am acutely aware of how difficult this is for my family to process and it isn't easy for many people, especially in very conservative families and communities to accept that someone is transgender. In the end not everyone in your family will accept you for the real you, but being aware of how difficult it must be for these close family members to process and come to terms with reality and how much just the new knowledge of having a transgender family member causes doubt, distrust and hurt in them has also helped me not to judge them or even reject them when they did and said things that hurt me tremendously.