The article is accurate and it of course reflects the reality we all experience. It took me a long time to accept who I am. Needless to say we're not accepted right now thanks to a political agenda.
It's appalling. They have literally no idea of who we actually are.
Thank you Lauren for this insightful and hope inducing article. It lifted my spirit. I have long desired to find out it isn't my fault I am like this, that I didn't have a mental disorder or sinfully chose to be abnormal. And so I found the article very encouraging. Though I still have many questions. I unlike many of my sisters here did not always feel this way. I can point to a specific event and time when I began to feel this pull to be more feminine and felt I was actually female and wanted to be seen as such. I have often wished there was some early indication of femininity in me, so I would know I truly was a girl. But as I asked my Mother about it sometime after coming out to her in 2003, she could not remember anything of that nature. I had no sister until my father remarried when I was 10 when Brenda became my stepsister. Though I would come out to Brenda in mid to late 2000s. There was no open expression of my struggle except to my brother Roger who is the only family member to physically see me in attire appropriate for my gender. But nothing was ever directly said to me just whispers and giggling behind my back. Well with the exception of Brenda once being angry with me while she talked with one of her girlfriends on the phone " You like..." ( A certain appendge). Of course after I told her she seemed to act like it all made sense to her. And although she says she accepts me as who I say I am, she will not engage me in open discussion..we pass some comments by text but when I push her for real conversation on the subject the texts stop. Interestingly enough it was Brenda who awaken me to my feminine self. She dated me on Halloween night of 1977 when I was 11 Brenda dared me to dress up and walk with her to a store. I will not bother you with the further details as I have related them here before. This date was reissued two weeks later but never again but my desire to express myself as female only grew. As I have reflected on these events over the years I marvel at the fact that I didn't remember resisting as you would expect a boy to do. I seemed rather eager for the opportunity to dress as her girlfriend. Though I still wish there had been the earlier playing with dolls or longing to wear dresses. The only thing that even comes to mind and I am not all to certain that it really means anything. When I was really little between 5 or 6 or maybe even 7 there was a little girl who lived next door that I would play with and I never remember feeling uncomfortable playing with her.
Hi Lauren. Your article is what I have theorizes from my own self-analysis. Trans is not a choice, we are born that way. What identifies who we are is not our genitals, it's our brain. And our brain is very complex and not fully understood yet. Thank you for putting together some of the research that show this. It is very helpful to many of us.
Marcie
Lauren, that is a very well-written article. I enjoyed reading it as I am now in my last month and a half of my psychology studies. I do a lot of research as part of my studies, and I have done papers around gender and violence, gender development and others.
Some of the articles you have referenced sounded familiar to me, so I checked into them as a refresher for myself, and no pun intended other than a teeny bit of advice maybe, but just have a look into your reference lists as there appear to be a tad of typos maybe.
I am including an APA7 reference list if you want to use it in the future. This is still a great article and very helpful for others who may be looking for answers as well.
Love and hugs
Catherine A Vos (She, Her)
Reference list:
Altinay, M., & Anand, A. (2019). Neuroimaging gender dysphoria: a novel psychobiological
model. Brain Imaging and Behavior, 14(4), 1281–1297. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11682-019-00121-8
Frigerio, A., Ballerini, L., & Hernández, M. V. (2021). Structural, functional, and metabolic brain differences as a function of gender identity or sexual orientation: A Systematic Review of the Human Neuroimaging literature. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 50(8), 3329–3352. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-021-02005-9
Gaspari, L., Soyer-Gobillard, M., Kerlin, S., Paris, F., & Sultan, C. (2024). Early Female Transgender Identity after Prenatal Exposure to Diethylstilbestrol: Report from a French National Diethylstilbestrol (DES) Cohort. Journal of Xenobiotics, 14(1), 166–175. https://doi.org/10.3390/jox14010010
Lee, W. Y., Hobbs, J. N., Hobaica, S., DeChants, J. P., Price, M. N., & Nath, R. (2024). State-level anti-transgender laws increase past-year suicide attempts among transgender and non-binary young people in the USA. Nature Human Behaviour. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41562-024-01979-5
Nguyen, H. B., Loughead, J., Lipner, E., Hantsoo, L., Kornfield, S. L., & Epperson, C. N. (2018). What has sex got to do with it? The role of hormones in the transgender brain. Neuropsychopharmacology, 44(1), 22–37. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41386-018-0140-7
Taylor, J., Mitchell, A., Hall, R., Heathcote, C., Langton, T., Fraser, L., & Hewitt, C. E. (2024). Interventions to suppress puberty in adolescents experiencing gender dysphoria or incongruence: a systematic review. Archives of Disease in Childhood, archdischild-326669. https://doi.org/10.1136/archdischild-2023-326669
Lauren,
I have a question. How is it that you just recently found you were interested? I mean, only now in your seventh decade. Could you share with me things about the anatomy you were born with, what your parents did or didn't do regarding medical therapy when you were born, etc.
@middleground Hi jAKe, I knew when I was only 3/4 years old that I was supposed to be a girl. That knowledge followed me my entire life. I was always very feminine in mannerisms and interests. My parents knew I was 'different', my mother gave me the name Lauren and accepted and nurtured my femininity whereas my father didn't and tried to force me to engage in sports and other 'manly' things, which I was an absolute failure in! I used to experience extremely painful cramps that occurred on a monthly basis. I spent many hours being poked and prodded by various doctors but was never told what was wrong. When puberty hit my body went in two directions but mainly feminine. I grew A/B cup boobs, wide hips, thighs and a cute butt. I was born with very tiny male genitals that remained tiny throughout my life. I often pondered why my body was like this and finally came to an understanding that I was transgender. I transitioned to living as a woman almost 4 years ago. almost exactly 3 years ago this month, I started bleeding when I urinated and went to the ER at our hospital.
After more tests and being poked and prodded a lady doctor came to talk with me. She asked many questions and said my medical records had numerous notes about my anatomy but I was never informed of that info. She asked if any doctors had ever mentioned intersexuality and I said 'no'. She said I had come in identifying as a transwoman but there was much more going on. She told me that due to my unique anatomy I had developed something very common to women, a urinary tract infection, or UTI. They had run my blood tests during a study I am part of, along with genetic and hormonal tests. She told me that I have high estrogen levels, what is referred to as a micro penis, and my chromosomes are XXY. She placed her hand on my knee and said, "Lauren, you are an intersex female, you actually are a woman! I am waiting for an appointment with an endocrinologist as she is certain that I have internal ovaries.
Lauren,
Thank you for more fully explaining. Just so you are aware, I'm an obstetrician and gynecologist. I'm retired but still inquisitive. When it came to your bleeding, I was thinking you were going to say you were having a menses, but instead you said you had an UTI. Did anyone wonder why you had monthly cramps? Did you not have any type of X-ray studies or ultrasound to look for anything amiss? My first thought was if you had a rudimentary uterus inside of you but with no outlet for blood flow. But if that was the case,blood would have built up month after month, of course unless you had a purely muscular rudimentary internal uterus.
Wish I knew more. It's very interesting.
By the way. I'm totally enjoying being a woman. I'm 70 now, had my bottom surgery a little over two years ago and have taken hormones for about three and a half years. I do wish my breasts were bigger. They are very small🙂.
Thanks for such nicely written article Lauren! Some of that I read elsewhere but putting it all together like you did is very informative.
As you said we know what we are, unfortunately though society at times prefers not to let us agree with it.
The analogy I've used in my own life is music. Every since I was a little kid I was drawn to make music, my grandmother recognized this and was my first teacher. Later when she grew too old to stay in her house she gave me her piano because I was the only grandchild with interest and aptitude.
So, no one ever asks me why I play, why I compose and arrange music! It's simply part of what makes me tick and without it in my life I'd be a sad and unhappy person, the same way having to look like a male all the time makes me sad and unhappy.
Amy
Hey, Lauren.
My apologies for taking so long to thank you for a job well done! It was a good read!
Dr Dee
Lovely article. I too underwent a journey from understanding something was “wrong” every time I woke up and looked in the mirror… to knowing I longed to wear female clothing… to accepting that I was always trans. I just turned 60 and plan to fully transition in just about three years, having started the process already. Thank you so much for the article, as a nurse I unfortunately find myself living a double life, attempting to correct the transphobia that’s so prevalent in society. Your journey provides me with so much hope that with my loving partner, I’ll be able to wake up and venture out as the old gal I was always meant to be. Thank you. 🙏
