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Coming Out: What Planned Parenthood Has To Say…

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(@flatlander48)
Noble Member     United States of America, California, Cathedral City
Joined: 5 years ago

As we know, the Planned Parenthood organization has been aroud for many years. While the Coming Out process for trans people is similar to the process for lesbians and gays, there are some differences. The following material approaches the issue from the perspective of transgender people.

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/gender-identity/transgender/coming-out-trans

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(@flatlander48)
Noble Member     United States of America, California, Cathedral City
Joined: 5 years ago

There’s a lot of very good information in the article. From conversations that I’ve had with others, many seem to think that if you blurt out your truth, you’re done. Actually, as the article captures, the process requires thought and consideration. That is what will improve your chances of a good outcome.

However, I do take exception with one thing. I don’t think coming out via letter or E-mail is typically the thing to do. In my situation, I did have the conversation with my daughter and son by phone. The issue was that I live in California and they live in the Midwest and East. I would have liked to talk to them in person, but airfare would have been quite epensive. On the other hand, I did have personal conversations with 7 or 8 close friends and my department manager at the time. My perspective is that if you have respect for someone close to you, then show that respect by having a personal conversation. Again, this is my personal perspective. Your Mileage May Vary.

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(@michellelarsen1)
Noble Member     United States of America, Virginia, Front Royal
Joined: 5 years ago

DeeAnn, you are so right, if there was one cookie cutter approach to this, then everyone would be identical. And I would not want to live in a world full of; me! One of me is plenty for this world. And so true, coming out is not a 'one and done' thing; well, unless you have the ability to telepathically communicate with everyone, and each person and  case, will probably need to be approached and handled differently. Hugs

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(@flatlander48)
Noble Member     United States of America, California, Cathedral City
Joined: 5 years ago

That’s why I always suggest that people think about what they are going to say and to adjust as needed. You just can’t throw out a bowl of word salad and expect to be understood, yet that is what some people think will happen.

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(@flatlander48)
Noble Member     United States of America, California, Cathedral City
Joined: 5 years ago

From my perspective, I prefer to have the conversation face to face. My reasoning is that if someone had a problem or a question, we can address it directly. I don’t want them to go away and conjure up some inaccurate BS on their own.

Further, there is a significant difference between lesbians and gays coming out compared to trans people. When lesbians and gays come out, they will not look any different, sound any different and do not need to be addressed any different. However, chances are that all 3 will come into play for trans people. Clearly, we will look different, and in many cases, we will sound different as we try to match our voices with our target gender. For those who have known us for extended periods, such as family or childhood friends, the adjustments in names and pronouns may take some time to sort out.

I think what is said needs to be straightforward and direct. You don’t want the conversation to wander out to Cleveland  and back. When that happens, it is very easy to lose one’s train of thought. Others may interpret this as confusion and think that you are unsure or don’t know what you are talking about.

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(@alexispw)
Estimable Member     Canada, Alberta, Edmonton
Joined: 3 years ago

It was easier coming out to friends first then it was for family with me . My parents had strong thoughts towards such matters . Had to be careful on how to word things . 

Friends I just came out and said it and was surprised on the reaction and support by them . That was way back in the late 90's . Being open and honest about your feelings is important . It gave me the confidence boost to tell my parents . 

When I did finally tell them , there was mixed emotions for sure . At the time I didn't really dress as a female and didn't wear make up . I basically wore neutral clothing . I made small changes here and there slowly building on that . I just didn't show up in a mini shirt , heels and a tub top . It was jeans , blouses and blazers . followed by makeup . 

As much as we want to rush things , you can't , it takes time as we go through changes , takes family and friends the same . Keep the line of communication open . Over time those changes will blend in and it will all be second nature . 

 

Alexis

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(@flatlander48)
Joined: 5 years ago

Noble Member     United States of America, California, Cathedral City
Posts: 1785

@alexispw I think the important thing is being able to tell our stories. Those around us may know about a situation or set of circumstances looking from the outside in. But, we get to explain how that compared to how things were internalized. Often it is VERY different.

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