Way back before I got so deep into this life I was naive about how one really does "Come Out". I thought it was just once and done, for most it doesn't seem to happen that way it's more like in stages sometimes quickly, sometimes not.
I've slowly been revealing myself to people who touch my life over the last 5 years or so. For many years my wife was the only one who knew my secret, and it really was a secret for the vast majority of my life.
At this point I'm here on this site to try to figure out is I'm really trans, or not! So I still live a lot of my life as male, but I'm spending more and more time as Amy.
Since I started on this journey in earnest many now know me as Amy to the point I have no idea how many that might be. Hundred's into the thousands are very likely. I've now done a few drag shows with some videos posted on you tube, plus I'm President of a local CD TG club with nearly 250 members.
I'm also highly involved with vintage cars, and that one area is where I have not come out to anyone. Well that's quite true anymore!
So with everything I do I'm in communication with a wide range of people some who know me as Amy, some who know me as, well choose a guy name you like and a few who know both sides of me.
Last Wed night I was preparing to do another performance so I was solidly in Amy mode when I got an email from one of the car guys asking a technical question. Since I had time to wait I answered and I'm sure you know what I did. Signed off as Amy, pressed send.
He replied addressing me as Amy and was a bit curious. Long and short I ended up telling him the truth! His reaction was great, very accepting and asked a few questions, and as it turned out he's gay with a same sex partner but didn't like to reveal that side due to the same fears as so many of us have. Awesome.
The show went great, I came in a close second in the contest but I was late leaving so then very late to bed after the hour's drive home. Not the most ideal as I had a fairly early doctor's appt, to go over my routine blood test, but naturally I was rather tired.
Their system is a nurse checks your weight, BP, etc., before the doc himself comes in. She noticed my fatigue and I simply said I was out a bit late, so she asks more questions, and I ended up saying I was at a bar till after midnight! That raised her eyebrows a bit. Well being a few days short of my 70th this young lady seemed to think it a bit odd, maybe? So I simply told her I performed in a drag show!
Her reaction was a big smile and a few more questions and thought it was fabulous!
Then the doctor comes in and takes my fatigue quite seriously and asks my questions too. So baically right off of the bat I simply tell him the truth too. He is of course bound by his oath or secrecy and I'm sure he has heard of far worse done by his patients then doing drag! Though no disapproval was detected. In case you are wondering, my tests were all good and he said "Keep on doing what you're doing"
HaHa, no problem doctor!
About me and drag. I honestly never ever thought I would do it, not my thing. Which the typical drag one sees in the media still isn't, and it's not what I do.
I play tunes on live keyboard, usually quite difficult ones, from ragtime, then romantic classics, plus Bohemian Rhapsody, as a nod to rock. It was a friend who inspired me to do this, and it also was something I wanted to do, perform as Amy! I'm a very nervous performer so I never do a flawless performance, but everyone seems to like it! I've had tips, hugs, compliments, kisses from random people in the audience, etc.
So little by little I'm getting "out" more and more, you know what? I don't seem to mind a bit.
Certainly there is the possibility my worlds could collide, but now I have the belief in myself to weather that storm. I hope!
Amy Myers
You go Amy,,,!
Amy
good for you girl. I never planned to tell my family doc but he was asking about ..does everything work fine, still good morning elections etc? um..no. I can get you medical help. um, here's the thing I want a vagina. I think I'm trans. he hugged me n smiled. next appointment I went dressed n he squealed with joy n hugged me again. I am so happy for you, be you n happy.
he told that to me n I echo it to you n all of our friends here, be you n happy. we love you how you are.
hugs
missy jo
Amy:
In the best of situations, coming out is a conscious process. I think in many cases it comes down to the particular relationship we have with someone else. The telling point is whether or not the relationship is important enough that we want to be completely honest and respect that relationship. In other situations, such as employment, the realm of transition can come into play. The goal there is to head off any BS by getting your truth out there. As Rachel Maddow put it:
“The single best thing about coming out of the closet is that nobody can insult you by telling you what you've just told them.”
But, it also comes down to a matter of how much you want to invest in another person. While that may be true for one person, for another, not so much. While you can tell someone that you are transgender and leave it at that, they will likely have no context for understanding what you said and may fall back to whatever prejudices that they held. That’s why telling ones story can be very helpful.
However, note that our coming out is different from lesbian, gay and bisexual people. They probably won’t look any different from how people knew them, but we will. That’s the importance of thinking about what we need to tell people beforehand versus being confronted and being placed on the back foot. People need to understand that our gender identity isn’t something that happened last week or last year. It is something that has been part of who we are from the beginning.
Coming out is different for each of us. Over 4 years ago I accidently let my EX find out my 'secret'. The first thing she did was to tell our 3 grown kids, then she threatened to tell my 4 brothers. Over the following year I told my brothers myself. I had my now long hair colored (4 times now), have had my nails done for over 2 years. For a year and a half I have been going to my doctor as Cassie. went to my dentist as Cassie and even gone to my Church as Cassie for the last month. I don't think they were suprized at church, with my done up nails, long hair pierced ears and the fem clothes I have been wearing. So for myself I am ready to present as Cassie 24/7. I guess this makes me trans???
. Cassie
DeeAnn, thank you for that very good reply, it sure gives me lots to think about.
The quote is very apt, and in a smaller way something I like to do, tell the truth. Which is the main reason I told my adult children about Amy a couple of years ago. I greatly dislike the hiding and untruths this usually entails and especially to those one care's for.
It was about investing in another person that I shared this with my longest term friend, we in high school in 1969. He has been very supportive and accepting as well!
How far this will go is anyone's guess as I am so far along this road that I could not have imagined this happening a year or two earlier.
Amy
As my grandmother used to tell me:
“Lies have short legs.”
