With the opportunity afforded me by having an empty home since Friday I have had freedom to be Charrie. Today Charrie was free to be for the whole day. Very rarely has that opportunity ever been dealt to me. Often in the past my cross gender activity endef sexually in self pleasure.
Today I was determined that would not be the case. I was not going to allow sexual tension and relief to highjack my self discovery time. It didn't. In fact I found with this mind set in advance that there was no arousal. May I say that the power of today's dressing was so much deeper and meaningful sans the sexual component.
With a clearer head and sexual tensions squelched, I discovered me in a much more meaningful way. Today I was deeply thankful for my status as a trans woman. Today I embraced as deeply as anytime previously the realness of my own womanhood. Today seemed to birth in me a lively hope that expressing myself as Charrie should be pursued as a honorable and obtainable goal. Transition and full time, perhaps; perhaps not, but for the opportunity for me to serve others in a deeper, most meaningful way with my remaining time, Charrie's development is essential. I sense that today's Charrie time was break through. I am contented.
Hi Charlene,
Congratulations on your day of self discovery!!! Although I am unable to relate to the sexual component of your past experiences, I am aware of the rewarding feeling that we all receive when we are ourselves. I spent most of my life living as someone I was not,creating a persona that all would accept, without ridicule. But now, I live 24/7, 365 days a year as myself, a M to F Transgender Girl, on HRT and awaiting Gender Confirmation Surgery.
You have taken those first steps on your journey to becoming who you truly are. Once you embark on your journey, there's no turning back, now it's time to move forward to becoming the real you with true happiness and contentment.
Hugs, Breanna
