I am taking my therapist advice and taking small baby steps. I underdress outside and cross dress in private a lot more since my egg cracked these past months and my wife noticed and my mannerisms are more femme when under dressed as I feel more authentic inside and femme layer under male clothes outside helps me a lot it’s hard to pretend to be masculine after 60 years of doing just that pretending.
My Therapist suggested baby steps so I did my first pedicure (pink ballet color)and manicure clear base coat this week I walked in to a large place advertised as accepting and all the ladies looked up all eyes (estimate 24 ladies)on me I was bright orange hoodie tight jeans with Tilly hat, once they assessed me a bit gay looking man they all returned to there fingers and toes as well as the clients, not a word was said. You could hear a pin drop. I asked the receptionist if they took walkins asked for pedicure and she said we have availability so please see Ratana who was super friendly and kind, we joked that it was my first time and she said it’s your virgin visit, we talked about my being TG and she was so understanding, I tipped her the max. I also did full body waxing sugaring at an aesthetic clinic that is friendly to CD and TG clientele the next day. It was fabulous and I felt so euphoric I can’t describe it. To eliminate my body hair which triggers my dysphoria I felt whole for first time. The aesthetician also shaped and tinted my eyebrows to my wig picture which is closest to my original blond hair(now white) it is fantastic start but needs to grow out a bit. Can’t wait for end of June session. I usually dress a bit gay outside bright hoodie colours (which my wife helped me pick out even after telling me I was on my own to figure this out without her) tight jeans but all femme underdressed.
So I am just experimenting and one of the girls on TGH in my area is meeting me Monday for coffee and she is president of a local TG/CD group that meets monthly for pub nite and dinner nite. So looking forward to chatting with her to learn about them and activities. I did speak with my spouse last nite and she did allow the conversation so I told her I was thinking of joining this local group and she was ok with it and wants me to be happy and have friends, although spouses are encouraged to attend she was adamant that she was not interested nor would ever participate. So this will be my only outlet for affirmation of my authentic self. I told her I didn’t want to expose the family and she said that was my decision to make if I choose too. So that was a great conversation to have.
That’s my news! Hope to hear your baby steps!
KayDee
KayDee, I am a very big proponent of taking baby steps; not only in this, but in everything. Imagine if they started 3rd graders off with Algebra before they knew how to add or subtract. Yep, they may get there in the end, but the road would be more difficult and they would have never progressed through the basics. Nope, baby steps it has to be. I want a good outcome in the end, not some hodge podge mess of some jumbled up mess. Keep your feet firmly planted on 'your right path'. Hugs
Thanks Michelle, will do! Each step seems to give me more confidence and the euphoria each time is phenomenal!
NEW Baby Step today:
1. updated my profile picture for real KayDee.
2. My new background photo is what I wore to go out of house for very first time as KayDee. Went to my Therapy session then went and met with TGH leader and fabulous lady Amy who was so kind to offer to meet me in person and that gave me the courage to let KayDee out and about. My therapist was amazed and said I switch to feminine so easily and that I was a passible women. I was over the moon each and every step I took in my open toed sandals with my pedicured pink ballet toes. She was jealous she said.
3. Drove 1/2 hour to meet Amy in Brantford and we met at a McD. It was packed and I just strolled in and looked around couldn’t see Amy so I took a table and waited. Didn’t see anyone looking at me. She arrived and came in also dressed femme, which she says she does often. We both got something and sat at a table, no one paid us any notice or jot that I could tell. We were both confident and had a meeting to do, we talked for over an hour and it was great to get to know her, our lives had so many parallels. She was so kind and I am so grateful to her. It was a turning point in my life as KayDee.
Thsts it for me, I want to hear about your Baby Streps!!
KayDee 
What a sweet tale.
Thanks Julie, it was so affirming, I was euphoric. Now have to see where this goes.
I'm just amazed how you took the time to get it all out of your system and express yourself in full detail to tell your story. I am well pleased with you.
@cjj3941 Thanks so much it was life altering! After 60 years KayDee was finally out in the world for first time.
Thanks 
