Well...after telling some pretty important people in my life about myself, I got my heart broken when I looked into all the surgeries it will take to make me feel like me, and the price of each. I'm just trying to be realistic here...it's never gonna happen for me. I feel so stupid. I should have just kept my mouth shut to everyone but you all. So...I removed all the mirrors in my apartment except the one in the bathroom for obvious reasons, and I'm not eating again.. Guess it's crossdressing in hiding .. but that sucks cause I'm still trapped in this stupid body. I'm going to sleep.
Oh Jess, don't give up on everything! Once you have a diagnosis, insurance will cover a lot of it. Also, Planned Parenthood is available as a resource as well. There may be local or state agencies with grants, and failing all that there are always crowd funding and online gifting tools.
Just take it a step at a time. HRT, an orchiectomy, and laser hair treatments are covered by almost all insurances as is speech therapy. Who knows? In a few years more of it may be covered.
Jessica, the one thing I learned very early on; besides all the learning and research, is planning. Laying out what 'I' needed to get done, so 'I' could feel comfortable as 'me'. And part of that is the figuring out of what needed to be done, when, and in what order. And to fulfill that, I needed to know who could help, and how they could help. And the who included finding the right therapist, medical staff, and even the surgeons. And obviously what things cost and how they would get paid for.
At first glance this seems a daunting and overwhelming task. But it isn't. With careful thought, I was able to figure out all of those things, and successfully work through all of that to become the 'me' I am comfortable with today. So, dig through all TGH has to offer; the Articles, Forum Posts, and Chat rooms. There is a wealth of information here. And if you learn one thing, we do love to talk and share.
Will it be fast and easy? Heck no; nothing is like that. Well, maybe getting a glass of water is, but this is not that. So Join and learn. And someday you will be right where I am, explaining this to someone new. And you will remember way back when, when you were in their same heels. Hugs, Michelle
Jessica:
It is important to remember that only about 1/3 of trans people have some sort of affirmation surgery. There are many reasons for this:
- Obviously, lack of insurance coverage is a reason, as is not being able to afford to self-fund.
- Not being able to be away from work for the 6 to 8 weeks need for recovery. Being a caregiver for someone and not being able to find a replacement may also come into play.
- Affirmation surgeries tend to be quite invasive and that may be a turnoff for some.
- Some may be poor candidates for any sort of surgery due to other medical situations.
Anyway, the point is that not everyone who needs to physically transition actually does. I think that in the general population most think that all trans people do transition, but that isn't the case.
Listen I appreciate what you're trying to do here, and I'm sure some people are ok with this, but I HAVE to transition. My happiness and possibly my life depends on it. I have panic attacks because of being trapped in this body that is NOT mine. When I was on heroin, self medicating and all, it wasn't so bad. But I was FU@%☆D UP all the time. I'm not doing that anymore, and I'm never going back to it, and I feel like I can't breathe in this body. I literally want to rip the skin off me, and maybe there's a pretty girl in there. Yes, I am fully aware that I need mental help. But I can't help the way I feel. It's just not gonna work for me if I have to live in John's body..it's not mine.
Thank you. I have been stuck in the bed all day and night depressed. I thought I had no hope. But I have been looking around at options. I think I have to pay mostly cash for facial feminization which will be my biggest hurdle because I feel I need it when I start growing breasts from hormones, so I can at least dress and try to pass. But...I'm a lot more confident knowing there is so much help and I can break it down in pieces. I'm just getting old faster than I planned..lol. Thank you.
Thank you so much. I have this history of not getting the things I want most, and I really didn't think before I went into screw it mode. Also I didn't realize how much help I could get. I'm just afraid because of my age. Idk if you read one of my above replies but I feel like my life depends on my transition. I'm so tired of this body, I want it off of me. Thank you girl.
Jessica, old? Okay, you may feel like it; but..... I'm 65 going on 66.... My top surgery was a tad over 3 months ago. My bottom surgery (orchiectomy) was two years before that. Heck, I didn't even realize I was transgender until about a year or so before that. So, I'm thinking you have a good bit of runway before you. But learn and plan. Baby steps. None of us knows for certain what the rest of today will bring, let alone what tomorrow hold for us. But we can never let that get in the way of moving forward. So take that big deep breath, and start thinking and planning. And you know there is always someone here to ask questions of. Hugs, Michelle
