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Confusion with names

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Posts: 34
Member
Topic starter
(@amylove2dress)
Trusted Member     Canada, Ontario, Brantford
Joined: 7 months ago

Β I find the further I go down this road I start to find my male name, and still my legal name as I'm not full time, and I don't know if I ever will be.

Β These days I'm finding a greater affinity with "Amy", my adopted femme name, than my legal given name.

Does anyone else feel this way?

Amy

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6 Replies
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Member
(@lauren114)
Joined: 4 months ago

Eminent Member     Belize, Belize
Posts: 27

@amylove2dress Definitely!Β  Lauren is so much more consistent with how I have redefined myself now that I have come to the understanding that I am a transwoman.Β  Now, I even call myself Lauren in the conversations that go on in my head without thinking about it.

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Posts: 99
Member
(@margprodue)
Estimable Member     United States of America, Wisconsin, Madison
Joined: 2 years ago

Hi Amy,Β  I understand completely.Β  I have started to refer to my old (dead) name as my legacy name.Β  It still is my legal name and I have a ton of work connected with it but much of my life is as Marg now.Β  I'm out and open and live as Marg daily but still my old me isn't completely gone and I don't think that it's realistic for me to expect it to go away completely.Β  So, I just think of myself as similar to actors who have a stage name and birth name.Β  It doesn't bother me at all if people talk about the old me.Β  I just think, that was then and this is now.Β  I hope that make some sense.Β  Safe Journey,Β  Marg

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Posts: 131
Managing Ambassador
(@alexispw)
Estimable Member     Canada, Alberta, Edmonton
Joined: 3 years ago

Being honest with oneself is important and I would be lying to myself other wise . Who I was before , you know " him " ...well he will always be somewhat part of who I'm today .After all He did start that journey af and I wouldn't be here today with out him . Does his name come up , you bet ya it does . Do I still use his name , yup . Haven't changed my ID yet it has been 20 years since having GRS . I feel I don't need a piece of paper to justify who I am . Everyone will have different views towards this . How every , MY family Doctor , Gio , endo , pharm , work , etc etc all have me listed as female and call me Alexis . My dead name is only used in legal matters under the cover . It works for me and with things changing with pronouns more and more it does make it easier but there still a few hick ups every now then . I do honor him and have deep respect for him for getting me this far in life .

Alexis Looking At You Β 

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Posts: 34
Member
Topic starter
(@amylove2dress)
Trusted Member     Canada, Ontario, Brantford
Joined: 7 months ago

Β Thank you to everyone who replied, and I must say your answers all make sense to me. I suppose it's natural as "Amy" is becoming a bigger part of my life and I interact with a lot of people as her as well.

Β  I can't say my legal name is my dead name, as I still lead part of my life as "him".

Β Amy

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Posts: 184
Ambassador
(@reallylauren)
Estimable Member     Canada, British Columbia, Victoria
Joined: 2 years ago

Hi Amy, Yes, the further we travel down the path to becoming the women we truly are, the more redundant our male name becomes, appropriately referred to as our "dead name".Β  I am fortunate in that my mother gave me the name Lauren. I realize now that she knew I was "different" or "special" when she named me. Today we refer to people like me as being intersex. When I was in high school I asked the office to simply change the spelling to 'Lorne', as I was always being placed in girl's home rooms and PE class.

My legal name is still Lauren and now it all makes perfect sense!Β  Happy Woman Face Β 

Hugs,

Ms. Lauren M

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