Hello ladies and gentlemen I found this old blog post I made like a 100 years ago. It does not really pertain to TGH but it might too those of you who haunt the online dating world. I will just post it as it sat, so please do not be to critical as I was a different back then.
Miriya
How to Mail People
Howdy all!!!
Unfortunately I have been fooling around on Transgendered dating web sites for some time. More then likely because my wants are more for a friend than a date. Most friend sites I have found get worse odds then a date one. Either way I have found lots of people using the sites have no clue how to write decent mails to others. Maybe I am old school but I love receive mails 10 times better then a text message. I am no expert writer like Stephen King.
Let us take a trip you and I through the writing of good mail.
Rule number 1, be truthful but not stupid. If you have only one testicle or something weird no need to say it right away unless you can spin it in a good light. BTW beats me how to swing that one. But If you are 67 year young, but pretending to be a 22 year old GET OFF THE SITE people are here to actually meet not waste their time on you. Now if all you want is a cyber role-play let people know, many of us do not want that but some do and can do it very well, and it is even better if you both pick roles to do and such. Actually let people know in your profile of what you are looking for this will curb some of those stray dogs.
Guys you can be:
Physically fit
Passionate
Intelligent
Ambitious
Optimistic
Funny
Warm
Creative
Thoughtful
Girls you can be:
Sweet
Funny
Ambitious
Thoughtful
Easy-going
Passionate
Outgoing
Hard working
Spontaneous
Happy
Guys you can't be:
Quiet
Energetic
Respectful
Modest
Kind
Sweet
Good listener
Loyal
Caring
Spiritual
Girls you can't be:
Spiritual
Quiet
Romantic
Good listener
Rational
Articulate
Modest
Respectful
Dependable
Intelligent
#3 Connect with the other person. It is good to use stories or specific events. Do not be vague or general, you want to connect with a human not a group of people. Make sure you relate to what the other person has said in their profile and previous mails. USE THEIR NAME.
#4 Never beg or sound like a know it all. You will never look good to another if you do
#5 One liners have a 80-90% chance to get the instant delete. Spend the time and do it right. You can look like Cindy Crawford but if you mail says you have the brain of a bat the connection wont lead to much more then maybe a quickly. If you are average looking you wont even get that.
#6 Where is it all leading. Remember you have a goal in mind here and so do they. In one of your many mails, closer to the early ones, let the other person know.
#7 Go fishing. Fishing is about using the right bait and then hooking the fish. If you are too strong it will get away. If you use cat poo on the hook the fish will never come and bite. So reel them in, also remember some times when you finally see the fish it is not what you want, be kind and release it gently back into the water.
Hmm.... Maybe I will delete this posting if I reread it one day and find I was all wrong.
Miss Jade
Discussion
- 2 comments
Hello Changing, I wish it weren't so that people delete the one liners, but it is. In the real world when you meet I think a one liner works because you have non verbal communication. In fact most of what you say is non verbal. Online only those little pesky emotion icons fill in the void, and they fall very short of the mark. Also it is very easy to hit a impersonal delete button but when a live person is standing there it can be hard to dis them. These being my guesses of course. Now am I saying write a whole essay page of text to wow someone in the 1st mail? Not really as that kind of thing boars most people, there are a rare few it wont (BTW I am not one of them). The trick is to have it just right to make that good impression. Not too much or too little.
example 1:
Hey let's talk gorgeous.
(DELETE in my book, unless that thumbnail is awesome.)
example 2:
What's up.
I was looking at profiles today and yours popped up. I really liked the fact you enjoy erotic attire. I have a huge closet my self and hate to admit it am a bit of an exhibitionist.
Also I wont lie, I love the way you look, just my kind of woman.
If you want mail me back and we can see where it might lead
Jade
(This is slightly better but you can see the point.)
It wont get a 100% but at least a 50% and that is much better then example #1.
Just some things to chew on.
Hmmm.... Looks like the TGH edit feature for forums has struck again. Tried to edit out the weird formatting from a copy past to here and it mostly worked, but then it cut some text in discussion 2. And dropped the title of Rule #2 Words are Important before the word lists. Of course I can only do one edit on TGH so you get to suffer too. If you want the cut text let me know an I will repost it.
Miriya
I am married since 25 years, so dating is out of the question.
Sadly I don't have one single friend I see on any regular basis and that I can trust with the questions about my life.
Sounds a lot like me. Only I was self destructive pushing people away,all ways trying not to draw attention to my self. Resulting in building no close friendships though my life. Till 8 years ago bumping into a old friend of my late brother while at work. He is my best friend now and continues to be very supportive to me, a real saint, at a very critical time in my life. He has been though this with a friend I've not met yet, that is M2F So he knows what I am going though. He is going to introduce us next time she is in town. She has had corrective surgery giving her the right gender, and is living happily with her partner. Sometimes help shows its self when you least expect it. I 'm learning to open up a little at a time.
I am a cis gendered bi female and love to converse with people via email. I can be a wing girl for Trans who wish to meet a guy to date in a straight bar like an Atlantic City Casino Lounge. Even double date if it makes you more at ease. Mary.
I know exactly how you feel it’s tough when you don’t have anybody around that understands how we feel and what we need. so many questions looking for answers. And just knowing that that there’s someone feels the same as we do. that we can trust.
I would love to find some friends that I could hang out with, and be myself if it was to present itself or just hang out and knowing that we have our closet secrets, and be able to talk about it, without being embarrassed, or judged, I do so many different outdoor activities, i’m pretty sure that there are others like me. They do the same., or just hang out go have a barbecue and or a beer or a glass of wine either will do, anyway where I live summer is getting closer so I hope to spend a whole lot more time outside. Thank you for listening., thank you all,,
Hi, Miriya. Regarding the poll, I chose other. I haven't dated in over 20 years because I finally realized I would never be comfortable playing the gender role I started out with. My previous dating experience were always one time events. Never had a 2nd date with anyone. The few relationships I was in, including my marriage, were all initiated by the woman and none lasted very long. I am very shy when it comes to trying to meet someone I would like to date, but since I've been out for a few years now I'm thinking about trying it again now that I am happy and confident with who and what I am. I still find the concept scary, which is saying a lot for someone that is a veteran and 15 year wildland fire fighter and have spent much of my life running toward danger while everyone else is running away.
I love your post about how to mail people. I'm also old school, and love writing letters and receiving them and abhor having to try to have a conversation using cell phone text for more reasons than I want to list here.
