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Is it discrimatory?

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Posts: 25
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(@tracyorisittraci)
Eminent Member     United States of America, Texas, Austin
Joined: 5 years ago

I have been bisexual/pansexual for many years. Way before I had evened considered transitioning, before starting HRT I used to frequent kik groups in my area. Mostly chatting, rarely actually using it for dating purposes. Recently most of the rooms I frequented or groups migrated to MeWe. I went to join the new MeWe groups which are lbgt rooms and was rejected because I identified myself as transgender. The group moderator said this group is only for gay, bi, or curious men. He went on to say there are groups for trannies on here. I was actually shocked that a lgbt group was excluding transgenders. I told him as much, I said I respect your decision and maybe he should poll his members.

In retrospect, I had to remind myself that I labeled myself transgender. Its who I am and want to be always, others have that same right to gather in their own respective groups as they see fit. I had no need to look further than our own group here, this is our space to freely express ourselves. Why should they not have that same freedom. So what I first percieved as discrimantion in my mind was nothing more than a selfish need to be accepted. It also reaffirmed how the community percieved me as a transgender woman by denying me access to the group. In a way it helped me grow a little. However i did correct him on using tranny as a reference, explaining it is a derogatory term and transgender was correct be it woman to man or man to woman. He apologized for that.

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Posts: 76
(@elantari)
Trusted Member     United States of America, Massachusetts
Joined: 6 years ago

Traci,

Indeed this site is a place where we can find support, advice, and friendship.  Having a space to do that with others that have similar experiences can be incredibly uplifting.  It is not always easy to not be reactionary when faced with a moment like you described.  But from what it sounds like you took time to reflect on the situation and found a sense of empathy to someone looking for a their own space.  I at times find that hard since I truly believe that we all need to be able to learn to live and love one another for who we are.  And that we do need to share space at times, that is how we can work to achieve it.  Lastly, I wanted to say that "thank you" for helping someone to stop and think how ones words can be hurtful even when it may not have been intended.    Glad he apologized, hopefully he will have a moment of reflective moment too.

Michelle

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