For those who are trying to sort out their gender identity or those who are considering or starting transition, have you ever sought the advice of another trans person who has been through what you are thinking about? Also, it doesn’t have to be specifically about advice. It could be a shoulder to cry on or someone to listen while you vent...
When I was in my twenties I had a friend who was transitioning and I fell head over heels with her. We lived happily together as two woman for a couple years and she mentored and educated me to the feminine ways I had not yet learned. We experimented with everything life has to offer and when we broke up, I was heartbroken!! I also spent 3 years in school studying psychology but lost funding and never made it back to school. Bad mistake!! But since that relationship I have had a few trans girlfreinds but never one as close as I was to her. Personally, I have had a hard time finding transgender friends who stay friends. A lot of girls I have met are looking for a sexual relationship and/or suffer from emotional and trust issues and are unable to hold a friendship for very long, or live too far away. I wish all the time that I could find a trans girlfriend to talk to, go shopping with and just hang out and support one another.
i am transgender MTF. i am engaged to transgender FTM. We are both out. Currently planning our wedding. What we both wonder should our ceremony be private or open to all our friends and families? Some know we are transgender some do not. We want day of happiness but NOT the condemnation of the few who do not know or accept. The problem is that the people who do not known or who would condemn are the senior members of both our famlies. So leaving them out would be disrespectful to say the least. Any suggestions?
Dennis:
I’m curious. How would older family members not know about your situation? The only thing that comes to mind is that if they lived at a distance and had minimal contact.
Thanks,
DeeAnn
I had a particular reason for posing this question. There is a phenomenon in our community regarding people’s continuing attachment to the community. I find it sad that, after transition, many separate themselves from the community. The reasons that are offered include: “I just want to get on with my life and live as the woman I am.”, “I’m not (or don’t wish to be) an activist.”, etc. I understand that as transition is a long and difficult road. However, I liken this situation to when a good and experienced employee retires or leaves the company. If you haven’t made any effort to capture at least some of that information and experience, it just walks out the door.
What we know is that in ANY endeavor, those who come after stand on the shoulders of those who came before. Even if we don’t directly access those people and that information, it is a comfort knowing that it is there if needed.
Now, I’ve had some people tell me that they don’t want to do anything that would shine undo light upon them. They are passing and don’t want to be subjected to embarrassing questions. But here’s the rub: there as MANY activities that don’t require being seen! That says to me that someone was just throwing out an excuse, and a weak one at that.
Anyway, I would ask, and encourage, people to think about how they can become involved and support their local communities.
Not in real life only on line. I'd like to find someone local who I can go out with and dress and get moral support for/from each other though.
Since coming out I have met and become friends with a few transwomen and they have been very helpful with advice and encouragement, as well as, their own experiences, I am no longer afraid to transition.
I've only chatted with a trans woman online. I would love to meet a local friend to be able to talk to just have not been able to make the connection.
