My mother used shame to stop me from wearing my sisters nite gown to bed when i was 6. I always had such a difficult time falling asleep. The one thing that helped me was putting on my sister's nite gowns . I felt a sence of peace. They were so comforting. I was told one early morning to get out of my sister's nite gown before my father got up and seen me. I was told that only sissyboys did that. I was also made to understand that sissy boys were less than boys. I am not sure what that meant. Did it mean that i was a girl or was I inbetween being a girl and a boy. Did that make me one almost a girl. I believe that is where it all started for me. That moment I had to decide what I wanted. It was not put in any kind concearned motherly way. Did i want to be less than what was given to me? I knew even at that age I did not want to be made fun of or called a sissy boy . It would of been so nice to ask me why i liked to wear girls cloths. It would of been so simple to answer. It made me feel good and happy. I hope that todays children are asked when they are displaying unusual behavior a simple question Why? Most children would simply say i do not know. Their brain has not matured enough to give you a thoughtful answer. To stop a unnatural behavior . Shame was used.it was continually used to in small messages. Even the girls learned to use it when they got mad at you. No man ever wants to feel less than he was suppose to be. So began a life of shame for even thinking like a woman never mind dressing like a woman. With feeling shame for thinking like you shouldn't comes anxiety. They call it gender dysphoria today. They believe it is so serious they willing to recommend HRT and surgery just to help with that anxiety. How do we deal with the shame we have been forced to feel. That has become a side effect. A side effect that stays with you your whole life. I cannot thing of using shame on any one or even a dog who spoils your carpet. Let us try to educate the new potential parents of our future children. Please ask the queston Why? It may surpise you. Instead of saying I donot know . They will say very simply i am a girl thats why i like wearing girs clothes. What is wrong with that? Shame is a horrible way of curbing what is believed to be bad behavior. Luv Stephanie
My dad wanted me doing all boys stuff when I like to play with barbies and with my sisters dressing up ...but always felt like a sissy boy ....I love to decorate, and draw portraits , and chatting with women about life guys just seemed boring till I got attracted to them for sex..
I remember a few years ago buying some odds and ends in a supermarket while waiting for the makeup aisle to clear. I then walked down the aisle and quickly grabbed the lipstick I wanted and dropped it into the basket without stopping. Went to the self-service till and scanned my items, and yes, the bloody lipstick threw up a "unexpected item in the bagging area". Along came a supervisor, looked at the screen with "LIPSTICK" in large letters on it and scanned her override card. My poor heart was going like mad...
What was odd is that I was still married at the time and my wife often asked me to get her items while I was out, including many a feminine item, or left me holding her clothing purchases at the queue for the till while she went looking for something else and managed not to come back until after I had made the purchases for her (yes, very cunning of her.) These purchases never made me embarrassed because they were 'legitimate', whereas I felt ashamed the moment I bought the same sort of items for myself.
I am now starting to just get on with it, but there is more work to be done. I need to have the confidence to go en femme shopping. Perhaps next week...
I can't even pinpoint where this shame comes from. It seems to have crept in by osmosis throughout my life. A drip drip drip of subtle hints of boundaries that should not be crossed.
Very first time went to walmart was looking in the womens section and found a bra I liked so was looking at the then for sizes and another woman came along looking at them also felt very strange she just smiled at me then was looking for bra extensions and had to ask two women clerks for them they just said there right over here and was asking me did I need a two hook one or three hook one told them both they were very helpful but was kind of embarrassed about it wonder if they thought it was strange? Anyway at least they have self checkouts so that was my shopping trip...was looking for clip on earrings but they didn't even carry them or i just didn't find them.....
Hi Annie You seemed to have a normal young girls feelings about boys and did normal young girl . What makes us feel bad about doing normal girl fun play?
Luv Stephanie
Hi Annie Nice clip on earrings are hard to find I know you can have pretty earings customized to a clip on. Maybe we created those boundries. Just by the simple way stores are set up. The girls section The womans section
Luv Stephanie
I bought enough online that my first trip out shopping I was already en femme. Thankfully this is one shame I did not encounter.
I have always felt comfortable buying women's clothes. It's all I've worn for years now.
