Yes, I understand that my topic is probably trivial and silly for some of my sisters here, but for me it is an "Ah ha" moment.
I have been given the opportunity in the last few days to dress freely and as long as I want. My circumstance has made it possible to consciously banish fear, guilt, shame, time restraints, and to squelch any sexual arousal aspects that at times have marked my limited dressing opportunities. I determined that with this gift I was going to explore who I really am as a person, rather than to just enjoy the dressing opportunity.
In embracing that mindset so much "feminine" seems to be pouring out of my heart. Gestures, posture, empathy and sympathy as I have taken numerous phone calls this morning, - peace - guilt / shame free dressing and feminine expression. On and on it continues to flow forth; not like a torrent of uncontrollable molten lava but rather like a cooling spring breeze whispering through the pine branches carrying scents of Jasmine and Honeysuckle. I have never ever experienced such a time of both inner growth and accompanying peace.
You say, "how is that trivial and silly? That sounds like it might be life changing."
Well the trivial and silly is my bra. It is sooooo comfortable. I have never worn a bra which didn't remind me it was there. I thought that was normal womanhood and understood that to be the reason so many cis-woman could not wait to get out of theirs once they were free to do so.
So I am going about my business when suddenly an "Ah ha" makes it was to my consciousness. "My bra, well this is strange, I don't even notice I am wearing it. (except for the feminine bustline it helps create) This really feels nice, so comfortable. I am not even disappointed that I am not aware of it."
Silly? Forgive me if it be so, but for me it was so . . . hmmm, enlightening, revealing, a pleasant surprise?
Something seems to be happening as I continue on with this gift of time to experience me from a whole different perspective then ever before. I had no idea just simply being who I have been in my heart for so long could be so special; enrapturing - if that is even a word.
Truly this Christmas I have been given one of the best, perhaps most important gifts that I have ever received. The gift to be me freely. The delight has been. . . nice.
Thank you Lord.
Congratulations Charlene V and no emotion is trivial by no means. I'm so happy for you, you have been given a gift of time to express your true self and there's nothing small in that.
When I first "came out" and began living 24/7 and started hormone therapy, I was excited every morning to get out of bed and get "dressed" for the day, so I understand. Over time getting dressed in feminine clothing became more normal to me, but certainly gratifying as I am expressing the real me. Good Luck and have fun with the rest of your time!!
Hugs, Breanna
Hi Charlene , I've had the same wonderful experience with my bras as well , they sometimes just disappear , then i take a deep breath and i feel it on me . Dressing as the true you is so wonderful , so nice to be the feminine person you really are and the bra is a great reminder of this to you . All of your girly things play an important roll in making us up as the lady we are , form our make up to our shoes and all in between .Enjoy your bras , all your pretty things , they are truly a gift , a sweet feminine gift to help you to finally make it to be woman . With love , Leslie
