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Transgender Day of Visibility 2024. My experience this year

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Posts: 186
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Reputable Member     Canada, British Columbia, Victoria
Joined: 2 years ago

It was March 31st again. Yes, you reply, asking what the significance is of that date? Well, for a transgender parson, its an important day. It is International Transgender Day Of Visibility. I am fortunate to be a member of the Transgender Studies at the University of Victoria, and this is a day that we, as trans people, celebrate. This year March 31st was also Easter Sunday, so it was decided that the celebration would be held on Thursday, March 28th.

I attended the celebration that was held in a brand new facility at the university, great location!

My experience there that evening has caused me to do some rather deep thinking on the entire topic of gender identity.

I was one of the older people in attendance, along with probably a dozen others in the same age range. I was dressed in a pair of black yoga pants, black ankle boots, a very nice dark pink sweater, and a black buttonless long cardigan. My makeup and nails were what I wear on a daily basis. In other words, I was dressed as a woman you would see anywhere during an average day.

Almost all the other attendees were wearing, what I would call, costumes. I was wearing what I wear every day, whereas many of the others, almost all a lot younger, were dressed in outfits that would be considered inappropriate in most settings. I knew a number of these people and tried to chat with them with little response. I know they were already in small groups with their peers but the lack of acknowledgement was quite noticeable.

There was a good number of trans allies and supporters present, including the Minister and Deputy Minister of the government ministry I work in. There were other members of local government present as well. Almost all of those people came up and talked with me. The deputy minister where I work came up to me with his wife and we talked for quite a while, their son is trans. They said they had no idea I was trans. His wife told me she was a makeup artist for a number of years and that my makeup looked amazing and I could probably teach others, I thanked her for her complement. All the rest of the guests who came up to me and talked were all women, and also said they had no idea I was trans. I also received a few words from some of the younger crowd, who wondered why I was there, as I’m not trans. Here is where I started wondering…

I know that I have always known I was supposed to be a girl, and found out last year that I am intersex, and actually a woman. I have always been quite feminine, have always been able to speak in a feminine voice, have very feminine facial features, a gift from my mom, along with feminine physical attributes, another gift from my mom.

Many of the younger group that were present don’t even refer to themselves as trans, they go by ‘they and them’ and most are non binary and quite androgynous.

So my question in all of this is this? Just what does it mean now, to be trans? I got the distinct feeling from those who talked with me, that I am not viewed as being trans, but being a cis woman because I’m intersex.

If that is the case, then I am more than delighted to simply be, and always remain, an intersex female.

Big hugs ladies,

Ms. Lauren M


3 Replies
Posts: 160
Estimable Member     United States of America, Florida, Tampa
Joined: 11 months ago

 Dear Lauren thank you for the interesting article I get where y coming from  I meet with trans support group monthly in Tampa they are all younger. College age  they dress basically androgynous I almost. Feel out of place, it’s very important to me to look my best in age appropriate attire thanks again Toni 

Posts: 4
Active Member     United States of America, New York, Newark
Joined: 3 months ago

According to the Cleveland clinic website I also fall under the intersex umbrella. That said I fathered a child so to be considered female while it is attractive to me I can’t deny my male attributes. I love my daughter and she is aware that I consider myself transgender. Never was one much for labels though. As for the style of dress, I prefer a classic look butto each there own I suppose. Love to all Katie

Posts: 101
Estimable Member     United States of America, Wisconsin, Madison
Joined: 2 years ago

Hi Katie,  I'm intersex too and have been out and open for several years   You can read my profile to learn more about me.  It is not uncommon for intersex folks to be able to have children.  It mostly just depends on the individual's type and degree of intersex situation. It took about 3 years of struggle before my wife and I came to terms with my condition (I'm a DES feminized male) but now things are very good.  She's become a great supporting partner and ally and helps me each day and my children are also allies.  I tend to dress edgy chic when going out.  It works for me since I'm 5ft 5 and 120 pounds with long blonde hair.  I speak at events around the country about living an intersex life and If you go to the Atlanta Comfort Conference you can see my presentation there.  Lauren and I have been friends for years and she's a great representative of the community and an asset to both TGH and CDH.  It's always wonderful to see what she posts.  I hope that things go well for you and your family and that you have a wonderful Spring.  Marg


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