I saw the Netflix Documentary Will and Harper with my small group last night. The basis of the story is when Harper, one of Will Ferrell’s closest friends from Saturday Night Live comes out to him as being a trans woman. From there, it is a beautiful story of a new stage of their relationship, but also goes to show that Harper is still the same person on the inside.
As a baby trans woman that is working through dysphoria, I was torn between watching it,or kindly bowing out. I wanted to watch it because I really enjoy stories of transformation and find them to be very relatable to my current place in the spectrum known as transgender.
I was hesitant to watch it because I didn’t know if, or how it would impact me emotionally. It turns out that my concerns were well founded because it was an emotional rollercoaster; from funny to sad; laughing to crying; heartwarming and heartbreaking; and an honest view of how you don’t choose to be trans, but being trans is a part of your life and is always with you, even when you don’t know he/she/they are an innate part of your human experience.
It was very heartwarming to see how gained confidence along the journey and went into a couple of places on her own and was able to be accepted as the woman she is. Will was very proud to be with her and introduced her to everyone he met and mentioned that she was in transition which was met with various responses.
I will not give it away, but there are a couple of scenes where the harsh reality of being a trans woman is on display. From the hate that is spewed from social media, being misgendered, and just not being seen as a woman.
OK Indigo, how did it make you feel? As a trans woman that is at the beginning of my road, I am more confused than ever. On one hand, I am so very excited to walk down this path towards being my authentic self for the first time in my 61 years. I am also excited to learn more about what makes me Indigo, how does she do her makeup? What is her fashion style going to look like? What is her personality going to be? Will she improve upon what makes male me special and be more of a caring, empathetic, thoughtful,and compassionate woman?
On the other hand, I am concerned about her wellbeing in this world and political climate. Will she be able to adapt to this world and remain confident about who she is and smile in the face of adversity? Will she be able to keep dysphoria at bay and not be tempted to give in to the constant thoughts of suicide male me experiences daily? Will she know what love is for the first time in her life? Will she be able to find joy, and happiness, and peace, and calmness, and compassion for others, and be a source of support for the trans community in general, especially the younger generation. Will she be someone that makes you smile when you say her name? Will she be able to live her last days on this earth as the kind of girl that you are proud to call friend, sister, partner, mother/father, and you were happy to know.
I would hug you right now.
So I’m watching it now, crying constantly. I never was a big Will Ferrell fan but thank you Will Ferrell.
It was definitely quite the emotional rollercoaster
I loved it. I'm baby trans myself. Since I'm pre medical and professional hair removal.
Hi Indi, I haven't watched it, and don't think I will. I am aware of what it is about and I know I will be an emotional wreck. I have watched a number of videos, movies and listened to many testimonials, all on being transgender and the various struggles we encounter, and the end result is many hours of crying lots of tears.
We are here for you and available to chat about our journeys. We are trans because we were born trans, it was never a choice!
Hugs,
Ms. Lauren m
My wife and watched it and really enjoyed it. Thought it was really well done. There are parts of Harper’s story to which I relate, and parts to which I do not… but that’s the case with any journey — each of us cut our own path based on so many factors: did we win the genetic lottery? How supportive is family? How supportive are friends? Do we have a good team (therapist, docs, etc)? … etc etc.
What I especially like about the film, though, is it’s a nice introduction point for others in my life. A way for them to maybe get a bit more of an understanding of my experience… get answers to questions they felt uncomfortable asking (I hope that isn’t the case though, because, as Harper does - I give friends/family carte blanc to “ask anything”), but maybe also to learn more so as to better formulate questions they do want to ask.
Regardless, I was pleased when I found that all my sisters watched it before we did, and one of my wife’s sisters let me know she made it the official selection for her “movie club” (think: book club). So I’m very glad it exists as a piece of entertainment and something that might make us trans folk a bit more accessible to the general public who doesn’t know us too well yet.
Frankie
