Hello everyone I have been struggling with my gender identity for a long time now I am looking for some advice. A little about me I am currently married with a 7 year old. My wife is my best friend and has been for about 15 years. We have been married for about 8 years. We get along great we sometimes have our disagreements but we always talk it out. She is the onewho pushed me to explore this side of me. She however has made it very clear that if I was to transition to being a woman she would still be my best friend bytbut we would no longer be married. She has told me thatwethat we could share the house and I would still have a relationship with our daughter. A big part of me wants to pressue this. But another part doesn't want to risk and possibly loose what I have with her. We have grown together both emotionally and physically and in every possible way you with another person. I feel like I cant be happy either way I go. I feel like either way I go a part of me will be unhappy. Any advice would be amazing.Β Kind of feel like im getting to the end ofmy rope here. Thanks π
Hello and welcome Elizabeth,
I am not sure advice is what you need at this point. It is what you want but your situation is very complex and advice at this juncture would be premature. I truly wish I could give you the advice you seek but you should think about a counselor to first help you figure out if you want to be a woman, transitioning is a big step and is not reversible. After you figure that out the rest should fall into place. I am not a counselor but it seems to me this would be a reasonable first step. Others who know more than I may have a different opinion and I apologize ahead of time if I am pointing you in the wrong direction. You will need to weigh all responses to choose your direction. I do so hope you can find your true self and
Sorry I had a glitch. I was going to end at self. Take care
Danielle
Elizabeth, it takes a lot of selfless love for a woman to want you to be happy and explore a change like this.Β Have you talked to her about the feelings you describe; wanting to pressure vs the fears?Β How about a counselor?Β Living in fear can have other consequences to your health.Β Let them help you.
Elizabeth, can you put yourself in her shoes, which I am sure you have, but for this question, look at your relationship from her point of view. What would you do? What do you want from a partner? And is living as a woman truly what you want?
Hello again Elizabeth,
I can certainly understand your dilemma now because last night my wife and I had a similar conversation. Our difference is that she doesnβt know if she would leave if I transitioned. The possibility does exist that she might leave and she did offer for me to pursue transitioning or just HRT. My heart leaped for joy and I did cry but I know I need to go through counseling before I make that major decision and I would want my wife to participate in counseling with me. This affects more than yourself and I think you know this. I would encourage you to seek counseling and to work towards joint counseling with your wife so you both are on the same page. Especially when you have a daughter who you obviously love very much. If you want to chat PM me. TTFNππ
Danielle
I too am in a similar boat. My wife has made it clear there would be ni future with is. I long to be a woman but of i go the doctor and go onto hrt then straight away our marriage would be over. I have been researching herbs like ouera mirifixa and see that they coukd work albeit mich slower. Has anyone tried this at all and do herbs work or would i simoly be wasting my money
many thanks
alana
Hi Elizabeth. I read your plea last night and as I lay awaiting for sleep to fall....I puzzled over your situation.....so many scenarios of possibilities. I am a bit at a loss for advice this time.Β All I can say is..........think this choice thru very carefully. It will cost you in your current relationship.....just how much....cannot tell. At face value....it seems like it might be ok. Sweetie.....all I can suggest is ......"Be True to Yourself First". Being unhappy with yourself will cause others to be unhappy too. Be honest and upfront at all times....others may not like it but it is the truth...no repercussions can come back to haunt you. I wish you and your family all the best and happiness with your decision.
Your Sister..........
Dame Veronica
