Hey folks,
I'm curious when you began to suspect that there was more to the gender journey than a fascination with clothes of the opposite gender. That perhaps transition was something in your future?
For myself, I remember going to sleep when I was young wishing, praying, hoping to wake up in the right body. Night after night after night. Somewhere along the way I forgot this, and thought it was just a phase, or just a fascination. It wasn't until many many years later that I was able to remember who I was.
When did you first suspect?
Hi Vanessa...I think I knew that there was something more than a an infatuation with women's clothing when I was in college. I admired girls but wanted to be like them. I wanted to look like them. Then of course I went through stages of wrestling with the way I was born and who I wanted to be. My experience was similar to yours. I wished that someone would invent a pill that I could take and wake up in a new body. Now I am older and dearly want to transition. I can't express how much I wish I would have done it earlier in my life.
Jennifer
Jennifer....hi sweetie! It is never too late to go for your dream. Do the research into what is required and what you will go thru....it is expensive, painful and takes quite a while to complete. You want to be sure your body/mind can take this change and physical condition and age can have a huge impact upon whether or not this route can be taken. There are many tales about those who delayed such decisions and now live with the regret of could have, should have and so on. The decision can be very damaging to family life and to friends as well. This is not to be taken lightly....once done there is no going back. Do contact your local LGBT organization and talk to as many of them as is possible before making a decision. The more info....the better.
I am here for you if you wish to chat more about this....my door is always open.
Dame Veronica
Me.....in my mid 30's. Never got around to it....now too old.
Dame Veronica
I think I new all along but for a million reasons chose to push these thoughts and feelings aside. I never really fit in with other boys or had common interests with them. As I got older the guys I was around would see a pretty girl and talk about how much they wanted to be with her. I played along but what I remember thinking is that I wanted very much to BE her and felt jealous of girls that they got to be who they were. I eventually conformed and married and had 3 beautiful daughters which I love but it was hard to see them grow into women like I dtsti feel I should have. I have secretly cross dressed most of my life but never feel "right" as me. Sorry for rambling and the fact that I'm not a very good writer. I am hoping to get to know some of you that have had similar experiences and see how you coped. Thanks Vanessa for the site and opportunity to get this out to
Hi Venessa... I think I knew since I was young that something just wasn't right, I really didn't know what it was but I just never really got along with the boys and their interests just didn't interest me. As I got older I stuck around the house and Mom taught me how to cook,bake and everything else. This really did nothing for the father son bonding and was told over and over by him that I had to "act like a man and stop acting like a sissy". I prayed every night that God would fix me and make me normal. I tried so hard to be the man my father wanted, I ended up getting married and having two wonderful boys but that ache was still there no matter what I did.
It wasn't till we got internet that i learned about Transgender but when ever I did a search 99% of the time would come back with porn and I knew that wasn't me. When I turned 50 is when I had enough,my deepening depression caused the marriage to break up and I had ended up in the hospital a few times,it wasn't till my Doctor told me that what ever I was running from I had better turn and face it is going to kill you.I sought counselling and with the counselor's help I started my transition at 54 years of age. Most Everybody has been really good my Boys and good friends just told me that they knew and were glad that I am becoming my authentic self, which is pretty awesome.
So if anybody says they are to old to transition I say you are never to old to be you!
When I forced myself to be honest about who I was, I felt that wearing women's clothes was a start and not a destination. When I allowed myself to behave naturally, it was in a feminine way. Before transitioning, I would always have to act like a man. Now, I never question that anything that I do is not feminine. Right now, I am on HRT. I am looking forward to getting surgery.
Also, it is never too late. I started in my 40's. There is always a way. I am in support group where people started transitioning later than I did. Each one of them are happy that they did.
I am really struggling with this. What started as a bit of a sexual fetish if I am honest now has changed and I'm in a nightmare of a place. I am 40 , married and have 2 young children but I now know that I want to transition. I told my wife about the clothes and she was ok if I did it when no one was in. She said if it was any more my marriage would be over. I'm now struggling to deal with everything . Hope everyone else is ok too xx
