Today I considered what to wear for voting at the city clerk's office and chickened out, wearing drab over my panties and pantyhose. Upon returning home, with the day being pleasant and sunny, decided to open the living room drapes and let the sun shine in. "Ahh, but now, Dani, that means no bra, no forms, no dress nor wig - the best you can do is to wear one of your tops with the guy pants."
If I am ever going to get somewhere with transitioning, sooner or later it will be necessary for my neighbors to know, will it not? Well darn it, I need to be in a bra!! So help me, I am not going backwards -- I'm not doing that anymore. "Dani, be a victor."
I seized upon a plan for the day. A black underwire with my 400g forms, black cami, and dark loose top to wear with the pants. I've decided any of my good neighbors across the street that can see in, well, they will start to wonder at least! "OMG is he wearing a bra?!?"
My thinking is, with this strategy for the winter months, they have time to discover, to think about it, and can figure out I'm still a good neighbor who takes care of his place, the lawn is mowed, the sidewalk shoveled and everything gets put away all the time. It's already possible to see in through small windows in the front door - if I'm in a wig or a flow dress, well... oops! And eventually of course my in-house open-drapes attire with continue to bloom.
Considering this is a normal Wisconsin city here, what do you think? How rapidly did you sisters get to where you could walk out the back door and out to your car?
How was it with your public en femme evolution?
@danikiss22 Hi Dani, for me, one day i dressed male, the next I dressed en femme...permanently. I have not worn any male item since that day in early 2021. BUT I think it starts in your own visualisation of yourself, how you feel you want to look from the inside. Much of the early clothing was more unisex than female and in truth until your body shape is changed by you anything else may look awkward. Changing slowly and somewhat androgynous is fine, there is a lot to learn and get used to so why try and rush it. There is more to wearing clothes than just putting them on...you have to 'wear them'.
If you change slowly your neighbours may not even notice much and one day wonder how you used to look? Grow your male haircut out and change naturally.
Just my thoughts of course.
Alex
@danikiss22 mine started gradually I suppose by venturing out bit by bit, then bravery set in and outings to stores and restaurants and finally during a heated relationship moment I slept it all out. Tears flying around from both sides, I slowly explained my world out of need, not want. I had enough, period. So out I came, guns a blazing. I reached a point where repercussions were meaningless to me. I was coming out for good. Living the dream.
Hi Dani, I found out that I was intersex 40 years ago but went stealth and hid from the public until about 12 years ago when I was being regularly misgendered and accepted who I am. I changed then and embraced my intersex condition. Now I'm out and open and give presentations locally and nationally on what it is like to live as an intersex person. You can check my profile for more info if you wish. Safe Journey, Marg
To me it feels gradual, but to most it appears abrupt. I've known I was trans (didn't have that terminology of course) since 3rd grade or so... but it wasn't until January of 2022, after being very happily married for nearly 30 years that I finally reached the tipping point and realized I could not keep pushing the ocean back with a broom.
So I found a gender therapist and began working with her. Unlike many/most here, I had never crossdressed in my life. I know will sound odd to so many, but for me, the term "cross dresser" means to dress in the clothing of the opposite gender. So that action seemed like something that would just exacerbate the obvious dysphoria I was feeling.
Spent six months in therapy, with my wife just thinking we were talking about my panic attacks ... until I came out to my wife, and just my wife, in July of 2022 (our 30th anniversary was in June... did not want to step on that). Told her that "I'd rather go slowly together than fast on my own" so that was the mantra.
Started hair removal that fall, started micro dose of hormones in spring of 2023, and once those got to a full level in late 2023... we looked for an opportunity to tell our son. Told him on my birthday in Feb of 2024.
Then I wrote my letter.
First it was my sisters, and then my wife's sibs. Those both happened within a week of each other in early April (with in person meetings).
Then a week later, the first inner core of friends (six), and every week or so another 10, or 20, or more... each getting a modified (less detailed) version of the letter.
And in mid May I went in and got my hair - went to a salon that does a lot of work with the trans community. And I literally walked out of the door of the salon and we went to lunch and I was full time then and there. Never looked back.
Long story shortened, I knew I was supposed to be a girl when I was only three, and that followed me throughout my life. After years of being forced to hide it and trying to act like a male, I accepted the fact I was transgender. Three years ago I came out to the world and at work, determined that transitioning needed to happen, and one day I was a guy at work, the next day there was a lady working at the front desk. I found out last year that I am intersex, which explained a lot about my unique anatomy features, which made transitioning much easier.
