Hi,
So I’m a closeted trans male. I’ve been questioning my gender from an early age and only now in my 20s has it become clearer to me that I am indeed trans. Though there’s one thing that’s been bugging me through my whole questioning phase.
I still want to carry a child.
Sounds crazy, right? Men don’t typically want to give birth and I’ve never met a trans male that feels this way too. I’ve just always thought the act of bringing a child into the world was such a beautiful thing that many trans and infertile women would kill for. I haven’t medically transitioned so perhaps it’s the estrogen that giving me these feelings. I’m torn because I do feel like I’ll be more comfortable living as male but I really don’t want to miss out on this part of life.
Does this make me less of a male?
No, it doesn't make you less anything. Do some searching across the Internet as there are trans men who have given birth. I've seen 3 or 4 stories over the last few years...
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I never married , don't have any of my own children . Will never be able to have kids now . I transition in my early 30's and I'm 50 now . I regret not having kids and this was something at the time I did put a lot of thought into it . At the time I didn't think it would have wise to get married and have kids only to tell my wife and children that I'm trans and want to be a woman . I felt this wouldn't be fair to put others through this kind of emotional pain knowing beforehand who I'm . So I have been single my whole life , a few dates here and there , but I'm also no one's sexual fantasy either . So Here I'm left alone , no one to love or love me back .
Don't throw this opportunity away .. like I did ...
Alexis
Hello, Logan. I considered this back then before starting on my meds, but for me carrying a child would have shot my disphoria up the roof, so it wasn't a choice. If you think you would enjoy it and are interested on doing so, don't let that feeling upset you. Having a child is something wonderful! In your position, I would start living as a male changing my clothes and overall appearance, but I would not start taking testosterone until I made my mind about the child. Take your time, make some research, and if possible make contact with a FTM transexual who gave birth to a kid.
Hope it helps!
No, in fact... I also strongly desire to have children. I'm on the fence right now about starting my own transition to ensure that I actually have the chance to have children. I'm 22 and I struggle financially so getting pregnant is unfortunately my only viable choice I can even have a child. It won't make me less of a man. It'll just make a father.
Hi Logan,
Don't worry, you aren't crazy nor are you any "less" of a man/male than any other man. You can always talk to the therapist at a gender clinic and they do discus referring you to a fertility clinic or you can find a planned parenthood center and they should be able to answer more of your questions and such if you want children.
Though think it over, giving birth and having kids are beautiful things, but brining new life into the world is a lot of work and responsibility. It also takes a real toll on your body and mind (after all there are many stories of postpartum depression driving people mad). Personally, I don't think I could do it (nor do I want to) so, it just isn't really a thing I had to consider.
Take care and good luck! Just remember, that whatever you choose everyone here will be supportive of you. You got this!
