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I declare being fluid

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Posts: 3
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(@blairs64)
Active Member     United States of America, Georgia, Augusta
Joined: 4 years ago

Hello everyone!  I am fairly new to this web site and I have been browsing thru the many stories and pictures and posts by all of you and I must say that I feel that I am a bit different than most.  I say this because I have never felt like I was not meant to be male or that I was born with the wrong gender.   I say this because my story is slightly different but the same. It all began when I was 13, matter of fact, on my 13th birthday. I was at the marina where my parents kept a houseboat and they were throwing a party.  But the party wasn’t for me, it was the US Navy’s birthday too.  And so as they partied, I wandered around the marina looking for things to do.  I ran into an older boy who was the son of another couple at my parents party.  They too had a boat at the marina so he and I went there to hang out.  We got into his fathers liquor and pretty soon we’re drunk too.  That’s when the other boy came onto me and started being sexual with me.  As he was doing things to my body he kept saying how pretty I would look as a girl. I had fairly long brown hair at that time (1977).  So from then on I would sneak my moms clothes and try them on.  And for the next 40 years thru college, the military and a marriage raising four kids, I would buy and purge while dressing in secret.  I felt ashamed but kept going back to cross dressing as much as I could.   It wasn’t until 2016 when I finally came out publicly and told my family.  I go out in public now and even started HRT this past January.  But I no longer talk to any of my family.  I only have one person who stands by me and supports me.  And it was she who told me I am Gender Fluid.  Being comfortable as both male and female in my journey.  I still have my moments of uncertainty and depression. But maybe one of you reading this can relate and can feel better about your own journey.

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Posts: 1036
Managing Ambassador
(@michellelarsen1)
Noble Member     United States of America, Virginia, Front Royal
Joined: 5 years ago

Blair, looks like you have had an interesting time in your life so far. Any chance you have been in the Chat Room to chat with the other members? It is quite active in there. And please let any of us know if there is anything we can do to help. Michelle

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Posts: 1828
Ambassador
(@flatlander48)
Noble Member     United States of America, California, Cathedral City
Joined: 5 years ago

Blair:

I’m not sure I understand. Yes, gender fluid is about embracing male and female attributes, but it is also about something happening that triggers a shift from one gender to another. In a very simplistic ways, to me it is someone like multiple personalities in the sense that medical people don’t fully understand how it happens. They know it does, but the actual mechanism is unknown.

So, do you go through times when you feel more like one gender than the other and then at some point that changes?

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Posts: 3
Member
Topic starter
(@blairs64)
Active Member     United States of America, Georgia, Augusta
Joined: 4 years ago

Hi DeeAnn

To answer your question, I don’t feel that I need to be one or the other.  I have been told that I have two very different personalities when femme or masculine. But I don’t have a craving or deep need to be femme.  I just enjoy it.

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Posts: 1828
Ambassador
(@flatlander48)
Noble Member     United States of America, California, Cathedral City
Joined: 5 years ago

I don’t think fluidity is about conscious need. Whatever causes the shift appears to be at an unconscious level.

Here’s one treatment of the subject...

https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/gender-fluidity-what-it-means-and-why-support-matters-2020120321544

 

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