Last night was pretty hard. I wouldn’t want to repeat it too often. What happened? Nothing sinister, or threatening or dangerous. I met a friend. A mate from my Army days, he was in the recce platoon with me. We shared a glass, and a meal, and chatted about old times. Then we went our seperate ways. It had been a good afternoon, fun and friendly.
The trouble started on the drive home. I got to thinking about other characters, other taskings.
I have a deed box in my house. Where I keep documents and important bits and pieces. I got it out and started looking through my keepsakes, the things I thought i needed to keep.r
Ladies, I cried. I cried for the confused boy , for the angry adolescent, the young adult who denied his real life and challenged his feelings and emotions. I cried for the proud soldier I had become, and I cried for the girl I would not let into the world. I cried for the young woman who lived in my body. I cried for the loss of my career. I cried for the freedom I gained when I realised what I needed to do. I cried with joy when I remembered the euphoria when I saw Jenni in the mirror for the first time and I cried for the freedom I now have to live the life I should be living.
Does my night ring a bell with anyone?
- Thank you Jenni, I share so many of those feelings with you. Especially, for the girl I could not let into the world even though she had been there with me through everything. Allowing Ashley to take her place in my life has been a relief, but has opened up so many new emotions that seem to change every day. TGH has helped me in many ways so far. Just knowing that I am no longer alone in this is wonderful! Love, Ashley
Bless you Ashley. Thank you xxx
Mourning.
It's natural to reminisce and grieve over loss. That person you knew is no longer with you (at least as you knew them). Like any loved one you don't truly ever forget them, but you do learn to grow and move beyond. So celebrate the life that got you to where you are and bid them a fond adieux. Remember the good and the bad because they shaped both of you. Laugh and cry over the pains and the joys that filled your life. Then raise a toast to both for having the strength and courage and love to move on to this next life.
Hugs, Cloe
Hello Jenni,
You are describing something familiar. I find that whenever I do something positive for myself on my tg journey then I usually end up having a good cry about it. A lot of pent up emotions are released. Although at the time crying can sometimes feel like the pits of misery, it is carthatic, and helps to fight off the depression when I've found myself sliding backwards for a while.
Thank you for sharing.
J.
Don't get me wrong! The other night was indeed hard, but I ended up being more excited about what is to come in my life than I have been for a long time. I feel that there comes a time when we all must examine our past, re-encounter and own the events of our life. It is because of those events that we have become the people we are. Only by knowing where we have been can we know how far we have come on our journey.
I took huge amounts of positive from the experience. It brought frexh to my mind the enthusiasm I feel for my life. It reaffirmed that I can visit my past, old friends, past times and maybe, in the future, those members of my birth family who face the other way now. I can do that and know that I am Jenni. I always was Jenni. I will be Jenni until I die.
Yours in joy! Jenni xxx
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I know how you feel ms. Jenny. I too am a crossdresser, but the real reason I have joined us because I am lonely. I am Timothy Glenn Skrabanek, I posted my notes I want to get to know you if you want to. I am not a bad/criminal you can look up my background of it wish.I too cry, because people make fun of me, for crossdressing, and it gutted so bad I almost shut my body down by mentality. But now I respect people's wishes and thoughts, and feelings. If you need someone to email, email me, I am gifted with emotional knowledge am at peace with people. I am single, and would like to get to know you do I can see who you really are, if you want to, I will help you through your troubles. Can you trust me?
Jenni,
That made me cry again. We as Trans women may not have went down the same path but our stories are so parallel with each other. I am 64 and just started my transition this year. I tried twice before but always backed out mainly because I felt like I needed to see all three of my daughters married to good men and they now have done that. So now it is my time. In fact I had a wonderful day today having my nails done shopping and dining and the weekend isn't over yet. Thank you so much for posting this.
Your sister
Janelle
