Bobbi in Ontario

Hi everybody!

I've been a member of CDH for a while.  I don't post a lot there because I'm shy and I'm a very contemplative writer.

Back in September of 2023, I had a professional makeover by a very skilled makeup artist.  She turned me away from the mirror as she was doing the finishing touches, then, after she put the wig on, she spun me back around.  I had an "OMG, that's the real me!" reaction, almost bursting into tears.  Overcome with shock and joy, I didn't clue in to the implication that I was trans.

Shortly after that, I went to my receptionist job en femme for Halloween.  As everybody else in my department is female, I had to follow the proper dress code and wear a skirt.

By popular demand, I dressed again this past Halloween at work, this time wearing a bright pink dress ending above the knees, with pink open-toed 3-inch heels.  I felt *so* good; the emotional high lasted about five days.

Over Christmas, I was reading a post on CDH that linked to a site called the gender dysphoria bible.  I didn't think I had gender dysphoria; I didn't hate my male body.  But the site begins by talking about gender euphoria.  *That* is what I experienced so strongly when I saw my female self in the mirror at my makeover, and when I was a beautiful lady in pink at work.  Then I thought, I might not hate my male body, but what do I actually like about it?  I like that I'm very thin, and I like my thick, wavy blond hair: hardly ringing indicators of manliness.

By the time I finished reading the gender dysphoria bible, the conclusion was undeniable: I am a transwoman.

I joined TGH, and I made an appointment with my family doctor to get a reference to a mental health professional and hopefully get the ball rolling on some hormones.

Thank you for reading.  Your posts are very inspiring!

xx Bobbi