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(@jillfassel)
New Member     United States of America, California, Wildomar
Joined: 4 years ago

Hi. I am Jill Fassel and am Thankful for the opportunity to join the group. I have been a crossdresser for very close to all of my life and my wife is currently feminizing me even further. As a result of liking my femininity so much that I need to take it to the next level and become a transgender person.

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(@Anonymous)
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Joined: 1 second ago

Hello Jill, welcome to this group. As you go through your journey find a trans person that has similar interests as your own that has already done some transitioning. Try to become good friends. This journey is not always easy and so it helps to have someone else that you can talk over various trans related issues.

Not to dissuade you from this group because we are really glad you are here but a matter of note. JustΒ a little bit of a suggestion as it relates to the term Cross Dressing. As trans girls most have been dressing our whole lives. And so we prefer to just call that dressing to keep the categories of cross dressers and transgender separate. Trans girls have always felt like we were girls and have dressed to cope with life. Cross dressers still think they are guys but for various reasons have the need to dress as females.

Of course some trans girls thought they were in the category as cross dressers and later on realized they were actually girls. Β And then before the term transgender became common some guys that were attracted to other guys but thought themselves to be feminine found a male partner and stopped there. And yet they think of themselves as female.

For sure the idea of gender and attraction can be very complicated and confusing. I was a year into HRT before I determined my true attraction as lesbian. So give yourself some time; transitioning can be a slow process.

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Posts: 56
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(@shawnalayne)
Trusted Member     United States of America, Colorado
Joined: 4 years ago

Welcome, Jill...it's nice to have you here!

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Posts: 718
(@cloe-anne-webb)
Honorable Member     United States of America, Virginia, Fairfax
Joined: 6 years ago

One doesn't "become" trans.Β  You are or you aren't.Β  Maybe your wife is helping you discover this, but it's time you owned up to it and not leave it at her feet.Β  Otherwise, this sounds like some fetish.

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Posts: 65
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(@leslieanne)
Trusted Member     United States of America, Virginia, Roanoke
Joined: 6 years ago

Hi Jill , i must take exception with Ms. Harris in wanting to separate us into two groups . First , we are all transitioning male to female or female to male . And i must also say we all cross dress to further our trans feelings and start this journey . Maybe you will have SRS maybe you want , hormones , or not , its all very expensive and takes some time . Cross dressing is part of the whole package , Jill you are trans , you made the choice to cross over to the pink side in your life and you will have to decide just how far your journey will take you . I have never figured out why we have two cites to belong to , we all seem to agree we don't like to be labeled and separating us into two groups is just that .Which ever of these two groups you choose to visit you are welcome and don't worry about being labeled . I would say not a whole lot of ladies here have had SRS , or hormone treatment either . Jill you have already transitioned , you are a fem person now and will always be , don't let someone push you away , you're here , you belong , you are one of us now and we love you as our friend . Leslie

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(@Anonymous)
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Hello Leslie. My reply is not to argue a point but to further explain some basic concepts. And of course none of us like labels since as we travel on this journey we learn how complicated gender and sexual attraction truly are.

We all cross dress as we learn about ourselves.Β  A crossdresser likes to wear the clothing of the opposite gender but they do not see themselves as the opposite gender. For instance, a male that dresses as a female but still sees themselves as male is what we refer to as a crossdresser. Someone like myself, a biological male who has always felt they were female is transgender. A transgender person that has had surgery is a transsexual. Not to speak for the creator of this group but crossdressers and trans people have different perspectives and that is probably why they created separate sites.

I agree that a biologic male that starts dressing as a female to explore their identity may over time determine that they are actually transgender themselves. So I commend the creator of these sites to create both crossdresser and transgender ones.

If I meet a crossdresser I might be jealous of their outward beauty but I sense that their heart and soul are that of a male. When I meet a transgender person I sense that their heart and soul are that of the gender that they are striving to be. I am a lesbian trans girl; I have always felt that I am female and i am romantically attracted to females. When I kiss another lesbian trans girl I know that I am kissing a girl and not a guy.

So Jill, nobody can decide for you whether you are a crossdresser or are transgender; you get to decide for yourself as you explore all of this crazy stuff on your journey. So don't discount the benefit that a gender therapist has. That gender therapist, besides helping you to identify what is going on in your head is also the first gatekeeper you will encounter. That person will be the one that you get your HRT letter from that you take to your physician to get started on HRT. After a time on HRT there will be physical changes that are not reversible without surgery.

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Posts: 65
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(@leslieanne)
Trusted Member     United States of America, Virginia, Roanoke
Joined: 6 years ago

Well Jamie, did you not read my post , say more than a few lines . What i was trying to say was rather than dig out your Funk and Wagnall and hit someone just coming on someone new to the site with all these terms , witch no one cares about anyway and make them feel unwanted . Try next time to just say hi and be nice , encourage them to be the lady they want to be . Who cares if they are true trans or not , or which site they should be on . We need to encourage people to stay and get involved make new friends . For someone saying they don't like labels you sure are missing the ship . Jamie don't take nothing personal , stop the tech terms , just be kind . I do not know you but i will send you a friend request , accept or not up to you because i care . Ole cross dresser part time trans Leslie

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