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Hello everyone! I’m new here.

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Posts: 2
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Topic starter
(@iiravenii)
New Member     United Kingdom, Nottinghamshire, Notts
Joined: 2 years ago

Hello everyone,

I’ve been dealing with a lot of confusion lately about my own gender identity and trying to find the right support and guidance has proved to be difficult.

It’s been stressful to say the least, a lot of the time I’m anxious and worried that I’m just wasting time. It’s affected my work life and even personal life both with my family along with friends online and real life.
Often times when anxious I don’t feel like eating either so it has affected my meal times with family. Which can just add to the stress.

I’m excited to meet and talk to you all though and I do hope that some of you can offer some aid and help me in making the right decision as I don’t know what else I can really do.

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4 Replies
Posts: 104
(@middleground)
Estimable Member     United States of America, Ohio, Ashland
Joined: 4 years ago

Charlie,

My first thought is it might be good to know how old you are to put your troubles in context before making any other comments.

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Posts: 2
Member
Topic starter
(@iiravenii)
New Member     United Kingdom, Nottinghamshire, Notts
Joined: 2 years ago

I’m 18 right now

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Posts: 104
(@middleground)
Estimable Member     United States of America, Ohio, Ashland
Joined: 4 years ago

Have you sought a professional to discuss these things with? I'm guessing your anxiety and such will continue until you sort this out. I finally, after 66 years, finally decided to seek help. I'm glad I did. Warning: Be careful who you seek care from. If it doesn't feel right, don't continue and look for someone else. My first attempt to me was a waste of time, or perhaps it taught me to seek more carefully. The second time I met a professional, a therapist, who specialized in gender issues. I'm now well into feminizing hormones, electrolysis, and am tentatively scheduled for my vaginoplasty in March of 2023.

I hope this helps at least a tad.

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Posts: 1833
Ambassador
(@flatlander48)
Noble Member     United States of America, California, Cathedral City
Joined: 5 years ago

Charlie:

Glad to have you join us!

I suspect that the majority of members here have gone through the agony of trying to sort out their gender identity at some point. It isn’t an easy thing to think about because it is counter to the bulk of the information that surrounds us. It is also uncharted waters in the sense that we probably have not have to try to figure this out before.

As has been mentioned, seeking professional help is a positive step. Many members here have done this. Our minds work to try to protect us from stress and difficult situations. Thinking about our gender identity on our own can be VERY stressful and fearful as there is considerable uncertainty involved. It is not unlike how procrastination works. We divert our attention away from that which creates stress and tension. By contrast, a therapist will help to understand what’s going on and help you figure out how things sit for you. However, there is one key point. The therapist needs to be versed in gender issues. Not everyone has that background and experience.

It also helps to be connected with the trans community in your area. I would suggest searching for support and social groups. Owing to the pandemic, many LGBT centers have been doing support and social groups online. That can help to ease time, distance and transportation issues.

Please complete your Profile page. It helps other members begin to know you and your situation. The page will always be readily accessible and can be updated at any time.

Also, if you want to see if there are any other members near you, click on Social in the menu and then Member Directory.

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