Sorry. I was not finished. The internet went down. here is the next part.
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I finally left the area and slowly became involved again. I was a phone bank captain for the No On Knight campaign in Sacramento, which was the precursor to No On Prop 8. I recruited operators from my church and a couple volunteered. A man and a woman. The woman and I took our breaks together and got to know each other. I was having a hard time where I lived and she invited me to come to stay with her and the man. I assumed they were together as a couple, but I was wrong. She actually showed an interest in me and told me there was never anything between the two of them. So we moved into an apartment, she and I, together until we were asked to go to Oregon to help someone there. Well, Oregon was nice, but some of the people we were with were not, so we came back and I continued my journey with her where my second wife and I lived. We have lived a good life. I have been enfemme for nineteen years. I am almost 57 and things are relatively good, except the woman I am with cannot walk much now and we danced for the last time about a year ago, 2010. She is also diabetic since 2007. We have been together for ten years and my birthday is coming. I get a letter from the Motor Vehicles Department, telling me I have to come in and bring my birth certificate. It further says if I have any document that says I have had sex reassignment that has to be shown as well. A court order must be proven for my name to be different than my birth name. So basically I have to carry an ID that has my male name and gender marker on it while living as a female. Idiots. I tried to live this way for several months. Then my birthday came and there was an incident at the gay-friendly church we attended and we had to find another church. I began to question the whole thing. Finally, being a Christian first and foremost, I believed God was trying to tell me that, at least for now, this was not what he wanted me to do. So I cut off my hair and let my beard grow back and stopped the hormones. I bought some oversized shirts to hide my breasts and took on a rugged cowboy look. Now my face and dress matched my ID. I felt God was happy.
Thank you again, Reuby. I only hope that you are happy and pray the best for you and the loved ones in your life. My journey does include much time meditating and praying over my Christian faith and how my path seems so in conflict with established religious dogma. The answer I always get is to keep moving forward and then I get so many signs this is right for me, even when I am in complete doubt and ready to say forget it all. The peace it brings is unbelievable at times, but I am as happy as I can be knowing I am being allowed to become the woman I had denied for so long. The stresses I've endured have been immense and somehow when I just turn it over it melts.
Hugs, Cloe
I really appreciate what you said. I have recently realized I just went through what I already went through years ago with my second wife and the church. Many believe living this way is a sin. I have found too many proofs that the warnings in the OT are not talking about someone finding they are of another gender inside and living that out. Both the warnings in the OT and NT are referring to either different reasons or different people and I am convinced that God is capable of leading us to where we should be. I think the fact I keep coming back to this is an indication it is where he wants me to be. So look out world! Reuby Louise is here!
I am truly looking forward to sharing more of my current journey here. I just hope it can help someone.
With love, Reuby Louise
Btw, I have always thought of my name as Reuby Louise, not just Reuby. I began to wonder why and I think it is because my mother was always known by her family in Nebraska as Minnie Louise. In fact what they called her sounded more like Minnelweez.