About a year and a half ago I joined Crossdresser Heaven and read Vanessa's post about an old joke in the transgender community. The joke goes something like this:
Q: What's the difference between a crossdresser and a transexual?
A: About two years.
And now, less than 2 years later, I find myself here. Not sure if I'm really transgender, but quite certain that I'm more than just a guy who likes to wear women's clothes. So here I am. Wondering where I'm headed. I must admit I'm terrified... Kind of like I was when I first joined CDH. Do I really belong here? Is this what I really am? Is this the start of a much longer journey than I originally thought. I really don't know. I am somewhat comforted by the fact that I see some familiar names and faces, but I'm still feeling confused and insecure...
Hi Elise We all have to deal with our own reality at some point in our lives. Keep asking questions until you find the answers . The truth is their. It takes alot of work and time. Do not allow shame to get in the way. You are doing nothing wrong. You just want to know who you really are thats it. Have a pleasant journey.Β Β Stephanie
Welcome to TGH Elise!
The adage is questionable at best other than a lot of transwomen do go through a phase of dressing as they figure themselves out.Β I knowΒ a lot of CD's who are perfectly content to live with only expressing themselves occasionally.Β Regardless, it should not be viewed as a natural progression.
Your life's journey is your own and you do get to make your own choices of the path and any changes to your life.Β We are here to help you sort through things or just to be an ear to hear and a shoulder to lean on.
Hugs, Cloe
Here I am as well. Your quote was one of the first I remember. Β Definitely one of the few first I heard when I tapped into CDH and have heard it multiple times here on TGH. Iβve been Dressing less than a year and now while the sexual element is subsiding the frequency to dress for comfort and to continue to develop my feminine persona seems more pronounced. I like being in the position Iβm in. Iβm a MTF Crossdressing Closet Girl. Thereβs no expectations to pass. Occasionally I share photos of outfits & poses. I assume if theyβre not liked theyβre simple deleted. I say all that because; I have no idea how or why Iβve been bitten by the Femme Bug so late in life or how itβs escalated so far so fast and it hasnβt even been a year yet. So what about the next two years? Oh My!
Thanks, Chloe. I do recognize the flaws in the adage as, if it were true, I would have described myself as transgender long ago. After all, I've been cross dressing on and off for well over 40 years now. But, the urge to live my life as a woman has gotten significantly stronger in the past two years. I think it's more a matter of my finally accepting that my femininity is a part of me, rather than just a costume I put on from time to time. Not sure I'm using the best words to describe this, but I hope you understand what I mean.
Anyway, thanks for welcoming me here and I hope to continue learning more about myself. I'm finally learning to accept that the label I or anyone else gives me, is far less important than being happy with myself.
Hugs,
Elise
Elise,
I perfectly understand.Β I had dressed starting at age 9 and began my transition journey in earnest at 51.Β I did know at about 29 that my sex needed to be changed, but let my lifes circumstances dictate a deep closet.Β I had a wife that knew I occasionally dressed and 2 children under 5 and was an official in our church.Β So I spent the next 2 yrs trying to plead with God with no answers until the day I prayed saying this is who I am.Β That was the day I was set free to be me.Β My angst over the internal aspect was in my 20's.Β The angst over how to transition and manage lifes affairs and families has been an arduous journey, but one I wouldn't change.
Cloe
