Ok,
My name is Lisa and I'm here because I don't really have the support I need.
I've always questioned my gender, dressed as a child in my mom's clothes, sisters, anything I could fit in. ย I still love it,
Recently came out to my best friend my wife of 19years and broke her heart๐. ย She tells me shes not attracted to females so we couldn't be together. ย As alot of us, I chance to lose everything. ย Family, friends, and more than likely my job. ย As I have heard the men talk at my work.
My wife wants me to be happy. ย But she won't be there. ย I've seen a counselor, I absolutely loved it!!! I've dabbled with natural hormones for a bit. ย Love the way it makes me. ย I've told one person other than my wife and she is so very supportive. ย Am I selfish if I proceed with the transition?
so good to know I am not the only one facing real whole life turn round by coming out. I have always wanted to now it a matter of life or death, my own, for the only treatment for me is to transgender or died. Brenda 2222
My dear Lisa.....I feel very sad for you but you are not alone. This is a story I have heard so many times. I have always maintained, that you must be happy and content within yourself to be of any help to others. If you truly want to become a girl.....do it. Yes price of happiness and freedom comes with a heavy toll and you must be prepared to pay that toll. Go and be all you can be. With luck, those who are left behind may rejoin you down the path to enlightenment.
Remember this.........you have lost nothing......you have just changed directions. All will still be there...in time, they may come to see that you needed to be yourself and may rejoin you. A wise Buddist Monk said....."In my journey to find myself, I lost everything else"!
My door is always open to you Lisa.....do feel free to enter, pull up a chair and talk with me, for I am here to share with you my Sister.
Dame Veronica
Lisa, I would be the last to come between two spouses.ย The fact that she wants you to be happy is promising, but take her words serious.ย If you're not happy you won't be able to help her be happy and things will still get tough.ย I'm at the end of an almost 3 yr long journey with my wife after coming out that will result in our divorce.ย ย Yet I feel strangely closer to her now than we ever really were during marriage.ย I also managed to transition on the job and stay employed.ย If you want to talk I'm here for you.
Hugs, Cloe
Hi Lisa, and welcome!!
Gosh what a tough situation - I really feel for ya hun.ย There are so many stories like this that I have read from others - and at the end of the day it's absolutely impossible for anyone but you to know what the right decision is for you...
As pointed out already - make sure you are taking her at her word.ย If she's declared that your marriage will end as a result of you choosing to pursue transitioning then you should only move forward knowing that's likely going to happen.ย Just as much as you know who you are, and what you need from life to be happy... she does also, and that's completely ok!
That being said - if this is very recent between you and her, give her some time to process.ย Will her thoughts and attitudes change - who knows!ย But one thing that's often forgotten by us is that we've had a lifetime to explore, learn about, and discover who we are - asking a new person to completely understand a lifetimes worth of thoughts and feelings will certainly take them some time to process!!
You've done a tremendous thing seeking the advise of a therapist!ย My therapist helped me come to terms with myself in ways that I would have never imagined possible!ย Keep going back as often as you can, and just open up and explore your feelings with them.ย It does wonders!!
Best of luck to you hun!!ย I'm here for you if you need to chat!!ย *Big Hugs*
<3ย Lauren