Hi.

Hello everyone, first off pretty amazing there are all these avenues for support for us.. i apologize in advance now for this (morbid) introduction and any incorrect terminology- i am a 40year man (for some reason wanted to write virgin but oh no) and i struggle with gender dysphoria / being transgender.. i realized something was wrong in daycare around age of 4-7 as i wanted to dress in the girls dresses for plays...my parents werent/arent supportive / i am also distant from my sister ... friends are non existent... spent a looong time fighting this feeling/thoughts going through relationships like a hot knife through  butter.. miraculously i somehow managed to get a son from my last relationship which repaired some of my family ties.. now beeing single and spending a year with covid restrictions  my depression has worsened significantly ... i dont really have anyone to talk with and everyone ive tried has been transphobic to the point my last experience made me move 250km and i now drive 2hrs to work and to my sons daycare.. 🙄👍 ok so i understood i lack the support to do anything about my feelings and  lack people to address my fears.. i am 40 it is pretty hars to make new friends in a new city - i would like to make some friends who are naybe in a similar situation - 30-40 etc people willing to chat talk skype whatever - here transitioning and the associated procedures are free so i visited a dr for a referral a few months ago.. but due to covid i might have to wait 6-12months before getting my first appointment to see a shrink... also the national helplines here have proven to be utterly useless or straight out encourage suicide-  hmm what a mess.. just like me... so if you feel like having a chat feel free to get in touch i have a million gazillion questions and probably even more fears.. i am 6’1 luckily skinny/fit no shoulders eu 43 feet with a face made with a combination of an axe and a blowtorch so the struggle for me is massive, basically look like a lollipop.. i nevertheless decided today that i need to reach out as i was driving to work i was contemplating the pros and cons of me and my car hugging a tree or an incoming truck.. wouldnt wish this to anyone and my upmost respect to everyone who finds the courage to go through with transitioning