Hi, all. I'm Allie

Hi, I'm Allie, I just joined last night.

Full disclosure, I'm an Assistant Managing Ambassador, Video on our sister site, CDH. I'll be working closely with Jasmine, Kimmie and Dee, on joint projects and some CDH-specific topics so it seems practical to be a member on both sites.

However, I do recognise that I'm somewhere in the middle of the "Trans spectrum" so I don't feel a fraud joining here.

I joined CDH in January of 2024, after a loooong time (well over fifty years) of feeling alone, "wrong" plagued with guilt and shame, ach, I'm sure you'll know what I'm talking about. ["Ach", interchangeable with "Och" baith guid Scots words, often used instead of, "oh"] Yes I'm from Fife, near St Andrews, the home of St Andrews people. And golf.

Anyhoo, by late 2023, I was again in the midst of a depressive episode, one of many I've suffered throughout my life, and somehow found the courage to finally look at this part of myself that I'd hidden and denied for too long. I decided to look for some online forum or information site to get help in examining this part. After a couple of false starts that almost saw me give up and go back into denial, up popped Crossdresser Heaven so, without too much expectations, I clicked the link. And found a real wonderland! Here were others just like me and the best thing was, they were all perfectly "normal", lovely people.

It took very little time before I knew I was home. The guilt and shame dropped away and, over the next few weeks, I made good friends and, just a couple of months later, I was planning to attend a Crossdresser and Transgender-friendly event in Leeds, England (Leeds First Friday) with three of these friends. En Femme, in public for the first time in my life. Nothing felt weird or scary about my time there, I was finally being my real, whole self.

For a little while I spoke about my male side and my female side but now it's just me. A complete and whole me. I am happier and more at peace now than I have ever been. I haven't had a depressive episode in over a year and I don't expect to ever again. Hiding and denying fully half of one's personality is most definitely NOT RECOMMENDED.

And that brings me neatly back to the start of this introduction, I'm here to further the aims of both sites and do what I can to give something back to the community that has given me so much.

It's a pleasure and an honour to be here.

Allie x