Truthfully, I can use all the help I can get from people. To be able to talk about all these things in my head and heart with people who understand is priceless in my mind. I have a very supportive wife, who has no intention of leaving me, and is arguably more excited with my inevitable transition than I am. But she can only help so much, so please anyone willing, send a message!
Amber,
Jeez, I think many of us would be envious to have not only a girlfriend, but a wife, who is excited to see you and be for you all the way in your transition!
To tell you the truth, what you relate reminds me of those rather cheap forced or cooperatively forced transition stories I've read through Amazon. Many include a wife or girlfriend who helps her partner along. I minimally have that luxury. My partner hasn't accepted my transitioning but even so has given me purses, jewelry, and some of her skirts.
Can't say more at this time because I don't know what more to say.
Hi Amber Lynn. I’m Abby. I’m glad you have a supportive wife. It makes a huge difference. It’s not been easy for either of us relationship wise. At one point recently she asked for a divorce. As she put it she does not wish to be married to a woman. I get it. I told her I would not contest it. But after talking she decided to hold off for the time. We don’t need to rush into it.
I have made quite a few missteps. I came out 14 mos. ago. My application of makeup has gotten better and quicker. I have a hairy body so that is a bit of a pain. Lot’s of territory to cover on shave day. I’ve found a good women’s razor that I like - Soleil but I also have a women’s electric and Nair. I don’t use the Nair that much - prefer the razor. The electric does well enough when I don’t want to mess with shave cream. As for the back I found something on Amazon called the Bakblade. I need more practice but it’s good and you don’t have to wet your back or use shave cream. There are other things I’ve learned over time. My counselor taught me a makeup trick that is great.
Anyway, if you want to ask questions or chat let me know. It’s been having other trans women to talk to that has made a difference. Abby.
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My name is Helen I shave been in a similar position myself. If I can help I will.
That would be spectacular.... I am pretty much to the point of accepting but the best way I could describe it is I feel I need to bounce thoughts, feelings, etc off of someone that has been in my position or anything similar. I do speak to a therapist but I am unable to get what is missing out of it despite my absolute full disclosure.
I really do hope that it turns out for the best with your wife, luckily mine loves me for who I am and understands I will still be me no matter what. I would be happy to have someone to talk to, always open to new friends. And aside from that I would be happy to help you with anything I can as well c:
Well I do not wish to speculate on your situation, but am here if you need to talk. And yes I am grateful indeed to have her, but she told me straight up she does not know how to assist me at this point, which is totally understandable and fair. I have a way of problem solving in my brain, and just have yet to find the catalyst for the "click". I am unable to ignore all the things, and the more research I do from a neat website called medium amongst others (not the copy paste websites that are hard not to find on google) the more things become undeniable. But I feel the fact that I am willing to use all the resources at my disposal and search for any others that could help is a good step. And as I stated above, I would be happy to chat anytime and always appreciate new friends ^-^
Amber:
I have 3 suggestions that could help your situation:
- Many here have found that working with a therapist is quite helpful. Make sure that you find someone with experience with gender issues. Not all therapists have this experience or interest. It is very difficult for us to remain focused on something that could cause great upheaval in our lives as our minds work to try to protect ourselves in this kind of situation. A therapist can help us maintain focus and thinking about the key issues.
- Is there a local trans community to connect with? Being able to spend time with our peers is very helpful. It serves as a reminder to we are not alone and that others have, or had, the same issues. Many LGBT centers have been doing online support and social gatherings. This can remove issues concerning time and travel.
- While you can wait for someone to contact you, it is probably better to look for other members near you. Click on Social in the menu and then Member Directory.
