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i dont know what i am

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Posts: 1
 J R
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(@spec)
New Member     United States of America, Delaware, Camden Wyoming
Joined: 1 week ago

all my life i liked to cross dress i always wanted to pass as a woman but now i am questioning what i am   i am straight  i love my wife but i feel a strong sense that i want to live and pass as a woman when i do dress it feels right like it is normal i want to start HRT but not go as far as to get bottom surgery i am confused my wife is supportive on my choice to transition i have always hated the me i see in the mirror and my body hair and sandpaper skin when i was a kid and a teen i wanted to be like the girls in school but i had to act like a man growing up i recently started to shave off my body hair and it feel great i am letting my hair grow out snice i was 18 i shaved my head to look like a tough guy i stopped doing that when i was in my late 40's i always had jobs where i was in emergency services i liked to work overnights in the worst part of the city  East Orange Newark Jersey City because it made me feel like a real man i did it for almost 12 years i am confused i am almost 50 now and it is strange that now i need to do this i should of done this in my twenties  i want to tell my mother but i am afraid to do it she is 70 now i have no brothers or sisters so its just me and i dont want her to disown me i know she thinks people like me are living in sin but i got to be me i was never caught as a kid dressing i am happy my wife is helping me through this part of my life        

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