all my life i liked to cross dress i always wanted to pass as a woman but now i am questioning what i am i am straight i love my wife but i feel a strong sense that i want to live and pass as a woman when i do dress it feels right like it is normal i want to start HRT but not go as far as to get bottom surgery i am confused my wife is supportive on my choice to transition i have always hated the me i see in the mirror and my body hair and sandpaper skin when i was a kid and a teen i wanted to be like the girls in school but i had to act like a man growing up i recently started to shave off my body hair and it feel great i am letting my hair grow out snice i was 18 i shaved my head to look like a tough guy i stopped doing that when i was in my late 40's i always had jobs where i was in emergency services i liked to work overnights in the worst part of the city East Orange Newark Jersey City because it made me feel like a real man i did it for almost 12 years i am confused i am almost 50 now and it is strange that now i need to do this i should of done this in my twenties i want to tell my mother but i am afraid to do it she is 70 now i have no brothers or sisters so its just me and i dont want her to disown me i know she thinks people like me are living in sin but i got to be me i was never caught as a kid dressing i am happy my wife is helping me through this part of my life
@spec sounds like you have a lot going on and have for some time. I completely understand your need to identify who you really are. I think maybe you might consider seeing a gender theripist who can work with you on a slow and steady path to self discovery and hopefully acceptance. Good luck.
@jillleanne i am on vacation with my wife on a cruise to Mexico this is just what we needed we had time to talk she does want me to keep my man bits because we still want kids but she can't get pregnant because of endometriosis and had a radical hysterectomy so we are looking at Surrogacy or adoption but this vacation is helping us out greatly
@spec Happy for you both talking about everything that will in the long run build your relationship. Have fun on your cruise too! Hugs, Jillleanne
Hi JR. I completely understand your struggle. Truly I do. I am almost 20 yrs your senior and I am still wrestling with the "how" of moving forward so that I can fulfill my own womanly needs while not disrupting to excess the needs that my family has for the male me and the roles I fill in their lives i. e. Dad & Grandpa.
My wife is fairly supportive and understanding. Within limits I can dress openly at home. However I do find myself continually wanting to push those boundaries. I identify as a woman at my core and simply want to be who I am. Dressing takes off the edge but it never gives me what I do deeply desire; daily life as a woman in every way possible.
I have worked with therapist. Our time together helped me. My wife and I actually had a few sessions together. They went well but we're not as productive as I was hoping.
If you can afford it, I suggest working with a therapist at this point in your life. I have been aware of my gender incongruity all my life. It really began to exert itself when I was about 47. I am now almost 70. I wish I would have been more aggressive dealing with my feminine essence in that intervening 22 years. It doesn't go away and it won't get any easier as you get older.
I used the on line service Better Help for my therapy. It was the right experience for me at that time.
Hope this helps.
Blessings,
Charlene
@charlenev i have struggled with this for years I finally told my wife i am trans and I want to live as a woman i feel like a woman trapped in a man's body she was about time you found your self she supports me in this i have a therapist and a good general doctor my wife is helping me with clothes makeup and I have friends in the lgbtq community willing to help its also good that my wife is bisexual so she gets the best of both worlds now and we are close in size so we can share clothes that is her idea but she wants me to take my time due to the current political climate
