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I'm Marci French and This is my story

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(@flordiagirl)
New Member     United States of America, Florida, clermont
Joined: 3 years ago

Hello

Wow, what to say, you might want to get a nice glass of wine I know I need one

Here goes everything

There is 62 years leading up to this

IM 62 years old with a wife of 25 years 3 kids 2 grand kids and on 07/10/2021

I realized that I am a women and have been all along. I guess this is my coming out (in privet)

There I said it !     I had to tell somebody , Maybe I will stop crying now !!! Thank you for being here

I felt this coming for over a year but didn't realize until now

Over the last 4 days my hole life has been rushing past me with things I had long forgotten about. And now almost 5 days later after crying like a 16 year girl that just got dumped . It all kind of makes sense to me now . I wonder if that's what dyeing is like ? My life keeps flashings these very vivid and meaningful moments  and events these last few days. I don't know if its my brain trying to understand what is happening to me.  To be honest for Marci to live I think  He will have to pass away at some point. (WOW that took a dark turn) all is well just a perspective on this Incredible revelation .

So this is my Story .

I had just dropped my wife off at the airport. She would be gone for a 10 days. I didn't have any real plans just some golf and a few chores while she was gone.

I stopped at Walmart to get a few things for dinner . I didn't plan on this driving back from the Airport.  The next thing I know I'm adding a blue skirt and this cute top, some lipstick and bra all in my size. I did need help finding the right color skirt I wanted  but explained to the sales person it was for my wife  (Remember I'm NOT OUT in public) I knew these items were for me. I have never bought and women's clothing for my self until this day. I did enjoyed shopping for them (someday out as the women I am)  These were all Mine for the first time.

I then went shopping for my dinner, strolling up and down the isle's  of walmart  light on my feet singing out loud but quite, to the songs playing in the store Marci was having great day.  At one point a person smiled at me while I was singing and it was Marci that was smiling back at her not him, {He was gone for a good 20 minutes}  and I felt that they were smiling at Marci not Him. I know that person could not have known but that's how it felt to me.

Well we finally make it home. I get dinner ready and eat.  now the moment I was waiting for. Dinners done, kitchen is cleaned up, doors are locked curtains drawn. Now its time to relax and enjoy my new outfit. I laid everything out on the bed and got undressed. One by one I put on each item with great care. First the bra with padding and stuffing for a better form  stockings then the skirt and then the silky soft pink top ( I know pink  but girls will be girls). I go and put on lipstick nothing more that's it. I go to the bedroom and walk to the full length mirror. There I stand in my pretty outfit minus the size 14 ladies shoes  and a wig. At first glance I see this pretty outfit I just got so much pleasure buying. Then it happens I see Her, Me, Marci !!! And WOW I'm beautiful, man face and all. I could hardly breath for a minute. My heart was racing sooo fast. I just stood there and shook and started to cry. After a few minutes I was able to calm down for awhile. (Damn 2 minutes in and already a drama queen)

The next hour I walked around the house doing things I'd done many times before, watering the plants folding a forgotten load of towels, just being me Marci. But this time it felt different( I don't know how to explain what I was feeling but I felt feminine in a way I never had before.(over the last year I have been feeling more and more feminine) Now I know why.

To the boy the beat me up in 6th grade for wearing the cute purple pants with the big gold zipper ring I guess you were right they were girls cloths, I was a girl. But now I'm a women

I've been crying for days, I cant hardly eat, my mind is all over the place, and I need a hug

If you made it this far Thank You  so much for letting me share my story. SHIT here I go crying again. Good thing I'm not wearing any makeup.  I've never cried so much in my life  What a relief to be able to open up to someone.

Thanks Again

Love

Marci Jenell French

 

 

 

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3 Replies
Posts: 1023
Managing Ambassador
(@michellelarsen1)
Noble Member     United States of America, Virginia, Front Royal
Joined: 5 years ago

Wow Marci, even the smallest 'coming out' can be exhilarating. But, over time, the exhilaration will diminish, and the 'it's just normal me' will take over. And some day you may look in the mirror, and not remember much of what used to be. You may think, 'I know there used to be something, but I can't figure out what', grab your purse, fix your hair, and then out the door.... Michelle

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(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

" Hugs "

 

Alexis

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Posts: 1833
Ambassador
(@flatlander48)
Noble Member     United States of America, California, Cathedral City
Joined: 5 years ago

Marci:

One of the things that I believe is that often things happen when we are ready for them and not before. It seems that you are now ready to begin to understand and deal with this long suppressed part of you. Rest assured that crying is not a bad thing. It is one of the ways in which we relieve ourselves of distress.

Our discovery of our gender identity is a realization on our part. That identity has always been a part of us, but it requires that we come to the realization. Coming to that realization is a bit different for all of us. For me, the realization spanned several years, but the response was fairly quick. But, the process can play out in many different ways.

As you have discovered, the journey begins when we admit to ourselves who we really are. There is no way around that and no shortcuts.

Please complete your Profile page. The answers to the questions provide useful information as to how things stand for you. It will always be readily accessible and you can update it at any time.

Our member database is searchable. Click on Social in the menu and then Member Directory.

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