Introduction Hello ladies

Hello ladies.

I am Jenny and I am from Houston Texas. You know the story....always knew but couldn't.  I have been married for 33 years and my wife has known about my female clothes since day one. She was ok with it as long as it was just at home. Throughout the years 1980-2000 I knew I was different but didn't have an explanation as to why I felt the way I do. After retiring from the military I started seeing a psychologist for PTSD.  I was diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria in 2018 and then everything made perfect sense. I finally had a name to put with my feelings.  I started HRT and began my transition. I totally felt right.  After being on HRT for about 6 months I finally told my wife and she went through the first stages of grief.   First denial. She was convinced that I was misdiagnosed and wad defiantly not Gender Dysphoric. She switched me to a different consoler and basically told her to   fix me.  I went to that therapist for over a year and my wife had me stop HRT so that the hormones wouldn't effect the outcome. In the end my therapist concluded that I was positively Gender Dysphoric and there was nothing to fix with me. She said I was perfectly sane and should continue transition.  My wife didn't like the findings but said she accepted it.

Then she went into the bargaining stage. She said I could dress as Jenny at home and go out on certain occasions and with only certain people. She also said that there was no need for HRT since I wasn't going to transition fully 100% to Jenny. I agreed to this on the thinking that after seeing Jenny more and more she would come around.  I also started taking my hormones again without her knowing.  After a few months she figured out I was on HRT and had a fit. The sticky residue left after removing an E patch gave me away. It sure is hard to get that sticky stuff off!!!   Then she hid all my HRT meds and limited my dressing/transitioning to only at home.  I went for extremely happy to devastated over night.

That was 6 months ago. I decided to give up and just stop trying if that's what it tool to make her happy. The last few months of being miserable have brought me to the point of making a decision. I just started taking my HRT meds again now (no she doesn't know) and when the right time comes I will fully transition 100% and she can stay or go. I have spent my whole life sacrificing many things to give her and our family a great life. Now the kids are all grown and gone off starting their own lives  there is absolutely no reason I shouldn't do what I need to do for my mental wellbeing. I am 52 years old and I'm sure I dont have many more years to wait......so its now or never.

Am I an inconsiderate a$$hole for thinking this way?

So I guess I am supposed to introduce myself now. LOL   Hello, I'm Jenny a 52 year old MTF transgender woman in Houston Texas. I joined this group for support and information as well as to meet other ladies possibly in a similar situation.  To date its been one step forward and 6 steps back many times over.  I just want to go forward now.