mother of possible transgender 7 year any advice/wisdom welcome

Sophie,

Thanks so much for being accepting and  supportive of your child. I am not a therapist, but having worked to provide a safe space for queer and trangender youth group, for seven years, (as well as being a 69 year-old Trans woman)  I have several suggestions. If you have not engaged with a therapist, knowledgeable about gender identity, I would do that first. Often those who practice in this area, offer support, not only for the person needing therapy, but also for their families. Something a  well prepared and effective therapist, in this area can often provide, is a sense of what the local climate is like, i.e. accomodations policies for schools and public establishments.

I don’t mean to come off as trying to be an expert, and I hope you will take this as a sincere desire to help.

Please feel free to message me privately if you wish

carla

thanks so much for your replies ive asked the school for a meeting im waiting to hear bk from them. im still trying to get used to saying she instead of he and using the girl name shes chosen instead of the boy name i chose when she was born. i hadnt even thought about a therepist is that something our gp could refer us to or is it something id have to seek out and fund myself? sorry this is all very new to me im trying to get as much info as possible to be able to support my child as best i can

Hello Sophie. Thank you for your article about your son. I have studied Psychology, Medicine and Philosophy and was a medic for 4 years in Vietnam. I received a lot of experience dealing with Ladyboys in Thailand, Vietnam, Loas and Cambodia.

I found your story most interesting, in that your son was female dressing at age 2 1/2. If I may ask, does he have any older sisters, that perhaps may have influenced him? You mentioned princess dresses and I wondered where they would have come from. What does your husband or significant other, feel about this trend.

As far as school and dressing en femme, whether or not the other kids bother him, would depend upon their upbringing. These days the kids are exposed to sex education and I am not sure that at 7, they could grasp what a Psycholgist may tell them. As for transgendering........well, it is extremely unlikely that any doctor would do that routine until he has hit 20 - 21 and physically is finished growing into an adult. The endocrine system is very touchy about modifications at a younger age. An endocrineologist would be a good person for you to consult about this. It is possible your son has inherited an xxy gene that is triggering a strong female prescence as well as being a male figuratively?

This is a very complicated issue to explain as one needs basic understanding of genetics and human reproduction and cellular building blocks of infant to adult growth and maturation.

If you wish....I could dealve into this further with you, my private e-mail, for confidentiality purposes is [email protected].

Regards, do feel free to chat with our girls for additional information, or myself.

Dame Veronica Graunwolf  -  Knight Templar,  Medic US  1st Cavalry Airmobile

thanks for you reply veronica no older siblings s/he is my oldest i chose his clothes when he was that young and dressed him as boy but ive never said he coukdnt have a certain toy because its for girls toys are toys at the end of the day s/hes just always been a lot more intrested in the stereotypical girl toys ie barbies etc and he was really into princesses at the that age (the disney film Frozen hadnt long been realised) and he loved dancing around with a disney princess dress over his clothes. its just progressed from there to now only dressing as a boy for school. im aware that no physical changes will be allowed until adulthood and tats good as s/he is only 7 and i know that s/he may still want to live as a boy again as s/he gets older and to be honest that would make life so much easier for all of us but right now (and for the last 4/5 years) s/he has chosen to live as a girl and i will continue to support and love my child unconditionally ive spoken to his dad and he has given consent for a name change and has also said our child has his full support aswell

Hi. one thing i think might be very beneficial for you and your child is to get a hold of a book by Amy Ellis Nutt "Becoming Nicole" "The transition of an American Family".  It's the best writing I've ever read about having a transgender child in the 21st century.  It's a wonderful story of a conservative New England family with a set of identical twin boys and one insists that he's really a girl at about age two.  Ms Nutt doesn't pull any punches and the story is very emotional.   Very excellent read.  Mom is an educated "home-spun momma bear" type and dad is a PHD who can stand up to and probably win a bar fight.  Also google "Nicole Maines/Supergirl"  That's where the story is today.

Another thing I would recommend is to "GOOGLE"  Dr. Norman P. Spack/ Nicole/videos.

I hope this will be of help.

Michelle Stanwood

I don't know where you live, but here in the U.S. there are some children's hospitals who have pediatric gender clinics where your child can be evaluated.  Under the right circumstances, the child can be put on temporary puberty blockers while the intense evaluations are done and if deemed appropriate put on cross sex hormones at sixteen  and if deemed valid, have the "confirmation procedure done at eighteen.   It's not the best idea for these children to transition after their assigned puberty because to completely reverse that process is virtually impossible.  R/E Dr. Norman P. Spack  Boston Children's Hospital.

thanks guys i will look for the book i think i saw a picture of the twins you are talking about in one of the videos ive watched.  im in the UK im not sure whats available here, ive asked to join "mermaids" but they are quite strict and do background checks on people before they them join the parents forum  so ive sent them what they've asked for just waiting for them to get bk to me.