New girl

Welcome Aditi ,

Many have of us have started out the way but those feelings inside get stronger for some who feel they are more then just that . It all starts somewhere so explore your fem side and reach out to others for support . The members here are fantastic and I'm sure you will make many friends here to guide you on your way .

Alexis

I am finally starting to transition. As soon as I get the gender marker on my Connecticut driver’s license changed to Female this Thursday I will be dressing in only womens clothes  FOREVER. Then I will petition the court to legally change my name to Melissa. My middle name will change to Joan which was my late wife’s first name. I am kind of honoring her and I okayed it with her sisters. Last name will remain unchanged. I will be changing everything, registrations, bank accounts, credit cards, deed to my house, etc. Once the court approves my name change, I will demand that everyone address me by my legal name, Melissa. No one will dare call the police and say there’s a man in the ladies room since it will be “Female” on my driver’s license.

We’ll it’s nice to meet you. tell me about yourself.

Hugs, Melissa

Hi, it's Melissa. I read that you were not sure if you are transgender or just a cross dresser. I wanted to give you some info on my experience. I am 67 and I started cross dressing in secret when I was 8 years old. I would wear my mother's clothes when no one was around. I was raised Catholic at the time and I remember silently praying for God to make me a girl in church. As I grew up and went to college I continued to cross dress secretly. I had so much internal shame and guilt that I asked my doctor for anti-depressant meds. I never told anyone the real reason I was so depressed. The medication helped but didn't cure the problem. In 1988 I married thinking I could keep it under control and I did. However I continued to cross dress in secret. In 2008, when my mother died, I was overwhelmed and had to tell my wife the truth through tears. I sought therapy and went to a transgender support group which helped immensely. My wife was very supportive but feared that I was going to transition. I promised her that I would not transition as long as we were together. It was a painful promise, but it was an act of love. She passed away in 2019. Again the gender dysphoria has returned with a vengeance. I must now transition or there is a real possibility that I might do something terrible to myself.

The point is being transgender is a lifelong issue and it only gets worse as we age. Once you are certain you are transgender, then start planning to transition sooner rather than later.

I hope this helps.

Love Melissa

Aditi:

Glad that you found us!

Do you have any access to therapy services? If possible, it is a very good thing to do. It can be very difficult for us to work through our gender issues on our own. Our minds will work to shield us from stressful situations because we tend to fear the unknown. However, a therapist who is experienced in working with patients who have gender issues is what is needed. Not all therapists have this background.

One of the things that makes understanding gender issues difficult is that society tells us that if we are born male, that’s what we are. If we are born female, that’s what we are. However, it isn’t that simple. For whatever reason, some of us come into the world with a different perspective. We don’t “become”. We “are”.

Anyway, count us as friends, allies and fellow travelers.

Hello Aditi

I'm so glad that you are exploring your feminine side through crossdressing. What you may find is that crossdressing or almost any feminine activity will give you some relief from gender dysphoria as it does with me.  Because my gender dysphoria got so bad, I only wear feminine clothes from now on. I'm living as a woman full time. Last week I got the gender marker on my driver's license changed to female. So therefore I no longer think of wearing women's clothes as crossdressing. In fact, in my mind wearing men's clothes is crossdressing for me now. Tomorrow I am going to the probate court office to legally change my name to Melissa. This is a milestone for me. One of the things that's happening to me is that I am starting to really believe that I am a woman. I always pass in public because of all the confidence I now have. I am now smiling and happy when interacting with others in public. You look beautiful when you smile. I have acquired a large number of dresses, skirts, shoes and pantyhose. So I never wear pants in public because I feel a dress makes me look and feel more feminine. When you develop confidence in yourself, passing is no longer a worry as it is for me. Just smile more and that will let everyone everyone know you are happy to be a woman. I hope this helps.

With Love, Melissa

You do you.  Like M.C. hammer says... "Do no harm."

Hello Aditi,

Welcome to our TransGender Heaven (TGH) site: A Transgender Support Site. We are a wonderful, accepting, loving, helpful community where you can be safe and be yourself.

You can read about the knowledge and experiances of others on a similar path by reading articles and in the forums and chatting in chat rooms.
My hope is that you will become comfortable here and make many new friends.
Glad you are here. Looking forward to seeing you on the site.
Terri Anne, Ambassador

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